http://justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] slidingmoments2012-04-09 06:47 pm
  • Add Memory
  • Share This Entry
Entry tags:

[FACEBOOK]

Why can't I be Dorothy and whipped away to a world where there's no tornado?
Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 09:36 am (UTC)(link)
First time always does hurt, and I wish I could say this would be the only time, but relationships will always have ups and downs. They'll ache and make you cry, and they'll flourish and make you smile.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 09:42 am (UTC)(link)
I hurt him really badly. I said horrible things to him so he wouldn't want me back. I just couldn't stop thinking about him. I want him to be able to help me. I just... want him to hold me.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 09:46 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sure he'll be there every moment he's allowed. He'd probably camp by your bedside if the nurses let him.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 09:52 am (UTC)(link)
He's driving me up there. He offered. He wants to stay with Nick's parents for a few days, even if I warned him they only have visiting hours for three hours a day.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 09:59 am (UTC)(link)
He really is devoted, isn't he? Kurt, I... God, I can't even tell you how it makes me feel to know that you're in love. That he loves you too. I'm just sorry it's come at such a physical cost.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 10:09 am (UTC)(link)
He said it back. Not straight away, but he did. I don't know why he does, that's why I need help. He just took care of me, he didn't even need to be asked.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 10:17 am (UTC)(link)
That really is something, Kurt. Not everyone can do that. It's even bigger than the puke test.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 10:23 am (UTC)(link)
Pretty sure the puke test doesn't count for me anyway. And I've already seen him puke. No big deal. He gets migraines, poor guy.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 10:28 am (UTC)(link)
So you were the one to past the puke test. Interesting. Did you help him through it?

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 10:32 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not exactly foreign to vomit. Yeah, of course I did. He could hardly see, he said the lights felt like lasers in his eyes.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 10:41 am (UTC)(link)
Did he say what causes the migraines?

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 10:47 am (UTC)(link)
Not entirely yet. He had a bad head injury when he was younger and has gotten them ever since, but he didn't elaborate.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 10:57 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe he will once he gets to trust you some more. He knows everything about you now. Eventually he'll reciprocate.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 11:05 am (UTC)(link)
He said he wasn't ready. He admitted to me has things from his past he wants to tell me one day. I did say the same to him, but I doubt he expected any of this. I scared the hell out of him, I know I did.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-12 09:11 am (UTC)(link)
But he's still there. He's still by your side. Hang onto that.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-12 09:46 am (UTC)(link)
I am. At least, I really want to. I'm trying to figure out how to warm him how hard the treatment is. I have a six hour drive to try and work it out.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-14 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
You have six hours from hell if it all goes wrong too... But I'm sure it won't, of course it won't. Just ignore me.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-14 04:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh brilliant. Thank you that. I'm going to tell him it's a bad idea.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-15 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
No, no. Don't do that! I said ignore me. Seriously. I'm old and have early on set. I don't know what I'm talking about.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-15 09:06 am (UTC)(link)
You've been telling me for years that I SHOULD listen to you! Are you telling me it's all been bullshit?!

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-15 09:21 am (UTC)(link)
No, just don't pay attention to the previous five minutes. Everything else still stands.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-15 09:28 am (UTC)(link)
What did you mean by that, though? You think it's all going to screw up.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-15 09:38 am (UTC)(link)
No, no. That's not it at all. I just think it's a hard conversation to have and if you have it in the car you have to brace yourself for an even harder trip. And no that it won't be the end of the world.

[identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com 2012-04-15 09:43 am (UTC)(link)
It's already going to be the hardest trip of my life. If I don't go, I'll never go. He needs to know some of the details. All he knows is that I'm a giant asshole who carries laxatives around on dates and lies to him.

[identity profile] breaksniceguys.livejournal.com 2012-04-15 09:55 am (UTC)(link)
I highly doubt that's all he knows. He wouldn't be with you if that was it. You're more than a giant asshole.
Flat | Top-Level Comments Only