slidingmoments | "You've been struck by a smooth criminal."

Entry tags:

"You've been struck by a smooth criminal."

Who:

jewhawk
What: A fag hag's job is never done... until she gets pwned.
Where: Bayfront Park, Miami
When: Saturday lunchtime
Rating: Who knows?

Quinn needed a break from studying before she went crazy. She had her nose lodged in the books for days now working on a paper that she had zero interest in, and that always seemed to make it so much more harder to concentrate on. Fresh air was exactly what she needed, so she decided to take a run along the beach and then ended it by grabbing a coffee from a vendor and sitting down in the park to enjoy it. She was lost in her own little world, wondering if she should approach Kurt about his increasing issues again with his food, or if it was still in that realm he would get pissed off for the interference. Mercedes made them both a huge dinner the night before after they all had a busy and long week with work and college... and Kurt was in the bathroom purging the whole damn thing before either of them finished eating. He didn't even try to hide it. Then he locked himself in his room and told them to leave him alone. Quinn just worried this whole being pursued by a potential suitor was aggravating it. It was hard to tell.

It was just when she was scuffing his shoes back and forth beneath her that she was watching a couple of seagulls nearby and someone passed by that her line of sight just automatically followed because they cut her view of the birds. That was when she did a double-take and realised it was the guy from the Facebook pictures. This was Kurt's man! And Quinn, never backward in coming forward, jumped up off out of her seat and ran up to him as he walked up the path sending a text message. "Hi!" she greeted him with a smile and then stuck her hand out to him. "I'm Quinn. I'm Kurt's roomie. I hope you don't mind, I just recognised you from a picture he showed us. Blaine, right?"

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Uh oh. She was really concerned about him, and Blaine did have the decency to feel a niggle of guilt in his belly about that. But still, this was taking one for the BFF team, right? His heart was at least in the right place. He just never really thought too hard before he jumped feet-first into the grand gestures. He put his hand on his stomach just as he had a bottle of water shoved in his face, which he had no choice but to take. "Oh, it's nothing like that. Just a little off colour. Do you... think you could walk home with me? It's not that far. Just down the block and around the corner."

Inside, he was proverbially crossing all his fingers and toes hoping she would agree. The timing was about right. It was Puck's half-day at work and he would be home any minute now. Then Blaine could excuse himself discreetly to 'lie down' and the rest would be history! He looked at her imploringly and just for emphasis, held onto the rail of the coffee cart. He might might be going to hell, but it was a really good cause, okay?

Oh holy hell, those were some seriously intense puppy eyes she just got nabbed with and there was no way she could deny them. At all. In fact, it didn't even cross her mind to. She was just worried about him and now even moreso that he was holding onto the rail. She couldn't tell if he looked a little pale or not, but what did it matter with the eyes he was giving her? Plus, if he was feeling sick and she didn't help him home, Kurt would basically kill her and very painfully.

Quinn patted his arm with a concerned smile. "Of course I can. Are you okay to walk? We can get a cab. Screw them if they think one block isn't a big enough fare. I'll tell them how I feel if they pull anything," she vowed as they made their way to the exit of the park. She took the water off him and unscrewed the cap for him. "Here, just sip that. It came on really quickly. What did you eat for lunch? Some of these vendors around here are notorious for salmonella. Hmm, you don't feel warm. That's a good start," she commented as she rested her palm over his forehead. "Let's get a cab. I don't want you passing out on me and have to deliver the bad new to Kurt."

Blaine just nodded, pretty sure that if he spoke without forward planning, his voice would get all squeaky and she would be onto him. He was the worst liar and always gave himself away. He cleared his throat with a small shrug. "I'm sure it's nothing too serious. Nothing a nap will solve anyway. It's been a big week, I think it's catching up with me..."

They hailed a cab relatively quickly, and this time, Blaine wasn't going to make the error of handing over anymore cash than was absolutely vital. He just hoped that Puck wasn't going to get held up, because if he did then Quinn would probably just leave oblivious and Blaine had thrown away a perfectly good opportunity to chat with her for nothing. This was sort of extra apology about the condoms thing. What the hell was he doing, anyway? He had no right trying to set anyone else but because his own lovelife hadn't exactly been the most fruitful. But it was Puck, and Blaine would probably do anything for his BFF. He felt guilty crushing on Kurt when Puck had no one, and this would be a perfect solution. "This is it," he told the cabbie as they approached the apartment building where he share a place with Puck. He paid the fare and then got out, but without even thinking, he waltzed around to Quinn's side of the cab and opened the door for her.

Oh crap. That was maybe a little to prancy for someone who wasn't feeling well! And when she got out, he did his best to try and look pathetic all over again. "Oh wow, my head is starting to ache a little now. I hope I'm not coming down with something."

Quinn put her hand on his back and gave it a soft rub. Even when he was feeling poorly, he was still a complete gentleman. This one had to be a keeper and she planned on telling that to Kurt ASAP. "Come on, sweetie. Let's get you inside," she told him and led him up the steps into the apartment building. It was actually a really nice part of the neighbourhood and not that many blocks away from where she lived with Kurt and 'Cedes. That was going to be extremely convenient. It was very clean and neat and when they got inside, the foyer was cosy and comfortable. This was where Noah Puckerman lived? Seriously?

They road the elevator up, and Blaine had fallen mostly quiet by this point. He seemed preoccupied, probably anticipating curling up on his bed for that nap. He couldn't just dump him at the door of the apartment block... because she was 100% curious as to what their apartment was like and she was definitely going to nab this opportunity while it was in her face. She could see if he was neat like Kurt, or if he was just neat in person and a candidate for Hoarders in every other facet of his life.

Thank freaking hell Blaine had a tidy bug that morning. He cleaned up the mess that usually came from two guys living together, and especially on a weekend. So, they got messy sometimes but with his movie date with Kurt that night, he didn't want Kurt thinking he was a total slob so what started out as a little bit of cleaning up in anticipation of the date actually turned into an all-out cleanfest and the apartment looked brilliant.

He was just shrugging out of his jacket after he shoved his bag, wallet and keys onto the kitchen countertop (the apartment was open-planned, which, according to Puck, was the better option so you didn't have to miss anything on TV while you got more beer from the fridge) and was about to offer Quinn a drink when he heard the apartment door open in the distance followed by Puck calling out Blaine's name and asking if he was home. "In here!" he called back, hovering beside the kitchen counter as he waited for Puck to appear and tried to ignore the brief look of panic that appear on Quinn's face.

Puck was glad as fuck that he was off early today, and had been looking forward to coming home and trying to talk Blaine into going to catch some lunch somewhere and coming back to play Guitar Hero. He needed some time to just catch up and chill out, and he was really looking forward to a relaxing afternoon.

Walking into the apartment, Puck instantly peeled out of the button up shirt he'd changed into at the station before he'd come back home, leaving the white tank top underneath and kicking off his shoes and socks. Padding barefoot toward the sound of Blaine's voice, Puck was only half paying attention in the kitchen until he noticed someone who was most certainly not Blaine there. "Q... Quinn?" he said incredulously. "I... Hey! What brings you over to our bachelor pad?" Even as he spoke to Quinn, though, he was giving Blaine a, you could've warned me, dude look.

Blaine probably managed to look innocent and guilty all at the same time. He hovered for all of three seconds before he pointed to the door. "I just really need to go lie down. You never know what might happen if I don't. Really, really sorry to jump ship, but you two will be okay, right? Puck, why don't you offer Quinn a drink? She's been running... see? From her clothes? Right... lie down."

And then he ducked out of the room hastily, avoiding Puck's Look completely but smiling smugly to himself as he closed the door behind him and made a quick dash for his bedroom before anyone could cotton on to what he was up to.

Quinn watched Blaine go in concern, not at all thinking anything was awry. "I don't think he's very well. Do you think I should go sit with him or something? Kurt will seriously kill me if he needed more help and I didn't give it to him. Hang on, let me just text Kurt to let him know Blaine's sick. He'd want to know," she rambled, taking her iPhone with the pink rhinestone case. She quickly let Kurt know what happened and hit send, and then she was piercing Puck with an intent hazel gaze.

"Well, this is a little awkward..." she commented and cleared her throat. She pointed behind her with her thumb. "Did he say anything about feeling bad? I ran into him in the park and he was fine one minute, and then wanted to come home the next, and I think he looks a little peaky. Do you think he needs anything?"

Quinn may not have had any idea what Blaine was up to, but he and Puck had been best friends for so long that the guilty look on the other man's face was the first thing that Puck noticed. "He'll be fine," Puck assured her, just about to move toward the refrigerator when her eyes stopped him in his tracks.

"Just a little," he agreed, watching her for a moment before he finally snapped out of his daze and realized he looked like a big dork. "Can I get you a drink?" he asked finally. "It's... ah... It's been a while. It's really good to see you. B mentioned you were one of Kurt's fag hags... He's fine, though. He gets like this sometimes... But usually if he gets some rest, he's okay."

Edited 2012-02-06 04:21 (UTC)

Quinn looked him up and down for a moment, trying to figure out how she felt to suddenly be alone in Puck's presence. When she intercepted Blaine, this wasn't part of the plan. She wanted to try and analyse him, but instead, she had Puck. She spent many years analysing Puck and her results were never very interesting. Her hand came to rest on her hip as she decided what her next move should be. "Kurt's the most important person in my life, so make of that what you will. As sweet and adorable as Blaine is, I will peel his scrotum off and bury him in it if he hurts Kurt... and Kurt is very easy to hurt right now."

She scooped her hair into her fingers and flipped it back over her shoulder. "I hope he feels better or Kurt might start taking it as a sign of karma for their second date. I heard you were living with him. A drink would be lovely, thank you."

Puck was well aware that he was being watched, but he didn't know exactly why, or what was going on in the woman's mind. Her threat toward Blaine wasn't a joke, and Puck knew it full well from her tone of voice. "Well, I don't think you'll have to worry about that... B's a great guy, and he's looking for something serious. He doesn't want casual sex. He wants someone he can really connect with and be happy with... I keep hearing all this shit about Kurt being a challenge and easy to hurt and all that, but... Why? I mean... If I'm not asking too much."

"Yeah. I'm sure he'll be fine... He just needs a nap. Yeah, we've lived together since forever, it seems like. B's my best friend... That whole opposites attract thing, I think, but it worked out pretty well. What would you like to drink? I got soda, beer, water, milk, juice... Apple, orange, and cranberry. Whatever you want..."

"He'll be taking a lot on with Kurt. How do I know that whatever I tell you, you won't just run to Blaine and tell him everything?" Quinn challenged, though her voice was calm and collected. How much should she say about Kurt? She knew Puck was a cop, and she didn't want him trying to make deductions, and them ending up being false and leading Blaine up the garden path. Some information had to be given, she just had to figure out how much.

Her phone buzzed with Kurt's response, and it was expectedly concerned. She just flicked back a quick reassurance that he seemed fine. It wouldn't placate Kurt, though. She knew that. And she didn't want to give too much away, because really, the more that pair contacted each other directly the better. "Cranberry juice, and thanks. It's a nice place you have here. I can tell you live with a gay guy."

"Listen," Puck said honestly. "You just said that Kurt's the most important person in your life. Well, for me, that's Blaine. He was there for me through some really seriously tough shit, and I'm a lot better person that I was in the early part of high school because of him. I don't wanna get up in Kurt's personal business, but I do care about my boy, and I don't want him to end up in a bad situation without knowing things he needs to know. In saying that, though, I'm a police officer. And I understand that some information has to be kept confidential." Meeting Quinn's gaze, Puck held his hands out, palms up. "I'm not going to try to screw this up for Blaine. I want him to be happy, and he's crazy about Kurt already."

Puck poured a glass of cranberry juice for Quinn, and grabbed an apple juice for himself. "Thanks," he said, glancing around at the apartment. "I'm the dude version of a fag hag, and I'm not even slightly ashamed of it. He's a good roommate, too... Except when I piss him off and he gets creative revenge ideas." He laughed a little, offering no further explanation on that.

The look gave Puck was anything but impressed, and she scrunched her lips up and pulled them to the side just to stop herself automatically throwing abuse at him. It was tempting, because there was something about his tone that just rubbed her the wrong way, but it could just be because she was Noah Puckerman, knocker-up of Kurt's brother's girlfriends. Yeah, she was sure his tough shit was really on par with Kurt's... not. She leant back against the counter. "I'm not going to tell you. That sweet little flowery disclaimer at the start?" She shook her head. "I can't trust you not to tell Blaine things Kurt should be telling him himself, so no. Blaine's going to have to feel his way in this situation without his big scary cop body guard. I'm not sure I can trust you at all and Kurt's a sensitive situation."

She looked around a little again as she sipped her juice. She really just wanted to adore Blaine unconditionally, but Puck was such a touchy factor in the whole thing. He was an unknown quantity to the max after what he did to Finn and Quinn was just worried the whole situation would blow up in their faces. She was worried about Kurt, she couldn't help it.

Puck was pretty fucking good at reading people. It was kind of a requirement in his line of work, and he could almost feel Quinn sizing him up. He took a gulp of his juice before giving her a nod. "Okay," he said with a nod of acceptance. "He's your best friend... I get that. And if Blaine had any secrets, I don't think I'd tell you either. Look, I know you don't trust me... That's cool, you don't have to. But Blaine's a good guy. Like, better than any other dude I've ever known... He's... There's something that's still good and pure and innocent in him that you don't see in my line of work, and I just want my boy to be happy."

This was stupidly awkward, and Puck was going to kill Blaine later for pulling this. He'd told Blaine he thought Quinn was hot, and that certainly hadn't changed. But that didn't mean he wanted her in his living room trying to see inside his brain with her eyes... At least, that's what it felt like she was doing.

Quinn closed her eyes momentarily, wetting her lips through a soft sigh before she held up her hand. "I'm sorry. I apologise, it's just... we have all been through some extremely difficult periods with Kurt and it's made me super protective of him over the years. He doesn't let people close to him easily, so the fact he is letting Blaine is a learning curve for everyone. Blaine seems relentless, though, so I'm not sure Kurt has much choice. In saying that, it could be exactly what he needs, or on the other hand, it could compound it all further. I guess time will tell."

She glanced around again, tapping her fingertips softly on the side of the glass before she looked back to Puck. "Kurt's been sick. You can't tell Blaine. It's something Kurt needs to do himself."

"No... It's okay," Puck said, stopping her. "I understand being protective of your fag... I'm the same way with B. He's my best friend... we're more like brothers. I hope it's good for Kurt, cuz Blaine's crazy about him. I've never seen him like this. I really hope it's good for both of them in the end." He met Quinn's gaze. "Trust me, Quinn. The last thing I want is to do anything to screw this up for either of them."

Puck took a deep breath. This was going to be a hard thing to keep from his bro. He and Blaine didn't keep anything from each other, and Blaine would know that Puck was hiding something. But he'd keep it a secret for both their sakes. "Sick how?" he asked, watching Quinn's face. "He's not... like... dying, right?"

Quinn watched him intently, making sure he wasn't just giving her a bum-steer by talking up Blaine's assets so it might lead to getting him some booty. But he could see the genuine care there in Puck's eyes and even written all over his face. He and Blaine were extremely close friends, a small confused but awed frown briefly passed over her features. Had Noah Puckerman grown a heart? "Blaine doesn't seem like the sort of person I would have pegged you to be friends with," she confessed hesitantly and realised that where she was targeting him with old high school hangs up (without meaning to), he could be doing the same for her. She, too, had changed a lot since back then but she would never completely shed her bitchy streak.

She wet her lips. "I... feel like I'm betraying him here, but you really can't say. It's important he tells Blaine himself. "Kurt has... he's bulimic. He has been since high school, but he's on and off the wagon. He nearly died from it."

Puck paused, mulling her comment over. He wasn't exactly sure how to take it, and part of him wanted to tell her to fuck off, that clearly, she didn't know anything about him. But then again, how was she supposed to? They had never really been friends, and though he'd changed greatly after the birth of his daughter, it wasn't like Quinn would have a way to know that. "Well," he said finally. "Protective of anybody other than yourself isn't something I would've pegged you for either." His tone wasn't accusing, but honest. "But we all change, Quinn... Some for the better."

Dark eyes focused in on the woman's face as she spoke, and it hit him like a kick in the chest what she was saying. "Oh, fuck..." he said, shaking his head. "I... I won't say anything to B, but... Goddamn, that's bad, Quinn... How long has he been dealing with this? Is he more on the wagon right now, or off?"

Quinn scrunched her nose up slightly at this and gave him a look. "Clearly you were too busy with your pressing social schedule in high school to realise that I spent a hell of a lot of time protective of Kurt." Yes, she was definitely offended at his comment whether he meant it or not. He wasn't in any position to judge on bullshit like that when he was just as guilty of it himself. After all, she wasn't the one who threw people in dumpsters for kicks. "Someone had to be protective of him when assholes were making his life hell and driving him to self-loathing."

She leant against the counter and put her drink down, looking at her shoes. It hurt so much thinking about Kurt did to himself. "I guess you could say he's dangling off the side of it by a thread. He's had a good few long months, but he's showing signs of slipping. Not that he makes the signs obvious by any means. He's very honed with it. I don't know how long exactly, all I know is I found out about it in junior year. It was probably sometime before that. He got worse when his dad had that heart attack. It's why he hid behind all the amazing clothing. Still does."

Edited 2012-02-09 10:05 (UTC)

"Look," Puck said, holding his hands up again. "I shouldn't have said that. You and Kurt were tight for years, and I know that. You stuck up for him when most other people didn't. And yeah, I was a dick back then... But I guess what I'm trying to get at is that we've both changed, Quinn... We've all changed. High school's behind us now, and the people we were there? Aren't the people we are now. The dickhead who used to throw gay kids in dumpsters, is now BFFs and roomies with a gay kid. And the two HBICs of McKinley are a fag and his hag in Miami, apparently helping each other through some really serious shit... I wasn't trying to start a 'Who was the shittier person in high school?' fight by any means."

Puck watched her carefully. The concern for her friend was evident, and Puck couldn't deny that it served to make her more than just hot to him in that moment. Sure, she was cute, and blonde, and had a great body, but what he saw now was far beyond that. He saw a genuine person who had a very deep and heartfelt love for her best friend, and that wasn't hotness. That was beauty. "Wow," he finally said, taking a swallow of his juice before continuing on. "That's... That's some intense shit... Is it... I mean... He's not slipping because of Blaine, is he? It'd kill B if he knew Kurt was doing something like that because of him..." He took a breath. "If I'm way off track, let me know, cuz I really don't know that much about that, other than what it actually is. I don't know what makes it better some times and worse others or whatever..." He paused, taking one step closer to Quinn, not wanting to crowd her, but to let her know that he was there, and listening to her. "Look," he said, finally. "We were never friends in school... I get that, and I get why. But Quinn... We both love our non-romantic other halves, and we both want them to be happy, preferably together, so what say we work together to do our best to help make that happen?"

"No, you shouldn't have said that and if you want me to believe you're not the douche you were back in school, it would be best to keep comments like that to yourself in the future," Quinn told him quietly. She didn't know why she let his comment affect her so much, but she did. She was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt here, and it would be nice to have the same in return. "High school was a hell of a long time ago. I'm in law school now and I've had to deal with a lot of things that's forced me to grow up. I think we can just agree to leave the past in the past, and it will be easier for everyone."

Her eyes narrowed just a little in thought before she had to shake her head. "No, he was shaky before Blaine came on the scene. I think having Blaine's attention has made him ultra-aware of himself and you can see the tendencies pushing back to the forefront, or the random comments about his appearance or how he feels about himself. He doesn't realise he's doing it, see. He'll catch himself when he has control but once it starts spiralling, it can descend extremely quickly. It's pretty basic in it's concept..."

She glanced at him and pressed her lips together wryly, and then mimed sticking her fingers down her throat. "Among other things. When he's slipping, it can be a range of things. He might cut his food up into tiny little portions and eat it a certain way. He won't eat until everything is laid out in front of him in perfect sequence. Some days, he might only eat foods of one colour, or he won't eat at all. Back in school, people just assumed all his layers were a fashion statement, but it was a shield around him so he could hide behind them. And I would love to agree with you on that, but the best thing we can do right now for Kurt, is not stick our noses in and force anything, or he will pull the plug and never speak to Blaine again. When you're ill like Kurt, you literally don't understand the concept of being attractive to anyone. Like I said, Blaine has his work cut out for him."

"Fair enough," Puck replied, setting aside his glass to slide his hands into his pockets and meet Quinn's gaze. "Sounds like a plan to me," he agreed. "We're different people now, and it's better if we don't keep living in the past."

Puck watched her, something twisting in his gut at the thought of Kurt feeling so bad about himself and his appearance that he'd come to the point of making himself throw up. He took a breath to settle himself. "You're... probably right. I don't know, I'm kinda... I'm used to protecting B and trying to help him... I've gotta learn to let him handle shit on his own. He's totally capable, but I'm... He's like a little brother to me. He more or less came down here for me. He's been through some shit, and he's been around for me when I really needed him, so..." He shrugged. "I guess there comes a time when you gotta let people have their space and all that." He was quiet for a moment before looking back over to Quinn. "You're welcome to have a seat..."

Quinn just nodded in agreement and sipped her drink. She should probably leave, but something was keeping her there... and she was internally telling herself it was lingering just to be extra sure Blaine really was okay.

"He seems lovely. Very personable, very attentive. Cute little thing, big smile, lovely eyes..." She had to admit, even if there was some reluctance there. She was worried for Kurt as to Blaine's intentions, but at the same time, she knew for all of them that once Kurt got his first boyfriend, he wouldn't be as accessible to them as he always had been and it would be a big learning curve to accept. It did seem, though, that there was a big chance it was about to happen. She went over to the table and sat down, falling quiet for a few moments. "It's just going to take some getting used to. I guess it's going to be the same for you and Blaine. Assuming they hook up. Kurt's a little harder to read than usual over all of this."

Following the woman over to the table, Puck sat across from her, sipping his juice for a moment as she remained silent. He could tell there was a lot on her mind, and he could only imagine, what with Kurt's condition, and the fact that he was her best friend. "B's a great guy," Puck agreed, meeting Quinn's gaze. "He's pretty fuckin' nuts about Kurt. Like, I've never seen him like this before. He'd kill me if he knew I was talking about it to you, but..."

"I'm not really used to sharing B, that's for sure," Puck replied. "But I want him to be happy. He deserves it. He's a good guy. I hope for Kurt's and Blaine's sake that it works out." Glancing over at Quinn, he smiled. "You're pretty crazy about your fag, huh?"

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