slidingmoments | "You've been struck by a smooth criminal."

Entry tags:

"You've been struck by a smooth criminal."

Who:

jewhawk
What: A fag hag's job is never done... until she gets pwned.
Where: Bayfront Park, Miami
When: Saturday lunchtime
Rating: Who knows?

Quinn needed a break from studying before she went crazy. She had her nose lodged in the books for days now working on a paper that she had zero interest in, and that always seemed to make it so much more harder to concentrate on. Fresh air was exactly what she needed, so she decided to take a run along the beach and then ended it by grabbing a coffee from a vendor and sitting down in the park to enjoy it. She was lost in her own little world, wondering if she should approach Kurt about his increasing issues again with his food, or if it was still in that realm he would get pissed off for the interference. Mercedes made them both a huge dinner the night before after they all had a busy and long week with work and college... and Kurt was in the bathroom purging the whole damn thing before either of them finished eating. He didn't even try to hide it. Then he locked himself in his room and told them to leave him alone. Quinn just worried this whole being pursued by a potential suitor was aggravating it. It was hard to tell.

It was just when she was scuffing his shoes back and forth beneath her that she was watching a couple of seagulls nearby and someone passed by that her line of sight just automatically followed because they cut her view of the birds. That was when she did a double-take and realised it was the guy from the Facebook pictures. This was Kurt's man! And Quinn, never backward in coming forward, jumped up off out of her seat and ran up to him as he walked up the path sending a text message. "Hi!" she greeted him with a smile and then stuck her hand out to him. "I'm Quinn. I'm Kurt's roomie. I hope you don't mind, I just recognised you from a picture he showed us. Blaine, right?"

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"He'll be taking a lot on with Kurt. How do I know that whatever I tell you, you won't just run to Blaine and tell him everything?" Quinn challenged, though her voice was calm and collected. How much should she say about Kurt? She knew Puck was a cop, and she didn't want him trying to make deductions, and them ending up being false and leading Blaine up the garden path. Some information had to be given, she just had to figure out how much.

Her phone buzzed with Kurt's response, and it was expectedly concerned. She just flicked back a quick reassurance that he seemed fine. It wouldn't placate Kurt, though. She knew that. And she didn't want to give too much away, because really, the more that pair contacted each other directly the better. "Cranberry juice, and thanks. It's a nice place you have here. I can tell you live with a gay guy."

"Listen," Puck said honestly. "You just said that Kurt's the most important person in your life. Well, for me, that's Blaine. He was there for me through some really seriously tough shit, and I'm a lot better person that I was in the early part of high school because of him. I don't wanna get up in Kurt's personal business, but I do care about my boy, and I don't want him to end up in a bad situation without knowing things he needs to know. In saying that, though, I'm a police officer. And I understand that some information has to be kept confidential." Meeting Quinn's gaze, Puck held his hands out, palms up. "I'm not going to try to screw this up for Blaine. I want him to be happy, and he's crazy about Kurt already."

Puck poured a glass of cranberry juice for Quinn, and grabbed an apple juice for himself. "Thanks," he said, glancing around at the apartment. "I'm the dude version of a fag hag, and I'm not even slightly ashamed of it. He's a good roommate, too... Except when I piss him off and he gets creative revenge ideas." He laughed a little, offering no further explanation on that.

The look gave Puck was anything but impressed, and she scrunched her lips up and pulled them to the side just to stop herself automatically throwing abuse at him. It was tempting, because there was something about his tone that just rubbed her the wrong way, but it could just be because she was Noah Puckerman, knocker-up of Kurt's brother's girlfriends. Yeah, she was sure his tough shit was really on par with Kurt's... not. She leant back against the counter. "I'm not going to tell you. That sweet little flowery disclaimer at the start?" She shook her head. "I can't trust you not to tell Blaine things Kurt should be telling him himself, so no. Blaine's going to have to feel his way in this situation without his big scary cop body guard. I'm not sure I can trust you at all and Kurt's a sensitive situation."

She looked around a little again as she sipped her juice. She really just wanted to adore Blaine unconditionally, but Puck was such a touchy factor in the whole thing. He was an unknown quantity to the max after what he did to Finn and Quinn was just worried the whole situation would blow up in their faces. She was worried about Kurt, she couldn't help it.

Puck was pretty fucking good at reading people. It was kind of a requirement in his line of work, and he could almost feel Quinn sizing him up. He took a gulp of his juice before giving her a nod. "Okay," he said with a nod of acceptance. "He's your best friend... I get that. And if Blaine had any secrets, I don't think I'd tell you either. Look, I know you don't trust me... That's cool, you don't have to. But Blaine's a good guy. Like, better than any other dude I've ever known... He's... There's something that's still good and pure and innocent in him that you don't see in my line of work, and I just want my boy to be happy."

This was stupidly awkward, and Puck was going to kill Blaine later for pulling this. He'd told Blaine he thought Quinn was hot, and that certainly hadn't changed. But that didn't mean he wanted her in his living room trying to see inside his brain with her eyes... At least, that's what it felt like she was doing.

Quinn closed her eyes momentarily, wetting her lips through a soft sigh before she held up her hand. "I'm sorry. I apologise, it's just... we have all been through some extremely difficult periods with Kurt and it's made me super protective of him over the years. He doesn't let people close to him easily, so the fact he is letting Blaine is a learning curve for everyone. Blaine seems relentless, though, so I'm not sure Kurt has much choice. In saying that, it could be exactly what he needs, or on the other hand, it could compound it all further. I guess time will tell."

She glanced around again, tapping her fingertips softly on the side of the glass before she looked back to Puck. "Kurt's been sick. You can't tell Blaine. It's something Kurt needs to do himself."

"No... It's okay," Puck said, stopping her. "I understand being protective of your fag... I'm the same way with B. He's my best friend... we're more like brothers. I hope it's good for Kurt, cuz Blaine's crazy about him. I've never seen him like this. I really hope it's good for both of them in the end." He met Quinn's gaze. "Trust me, Quinn. The last thing I want is to do anything to screw this up for either of them."

Puck took a deep breath. This was going to be a hard thing to keep from his bro. He and Blaine didn't keep anything from each other, and Blaine would know that Puck was hiding something. But he'd keep it a secret for both their sakes. "Sick how?" he asked, watching Quinn's face. "He's not... like... dying, right?"

Quinn watched him intently, making sure he wasn't just giving her a bum-steer by talking up Blaine's assets so it might lead to getting him some booty. But he could see the genuine care there in Puck's eyes and even written all over his face. He and Blaine were extremely close friends, a small confused but awed frown briefly passed over her features. Had Noah Puckerman grown a heart? "Blaine doesn't seem like the sort of person I would have pegged you to be friends with," she confessed hesitantly and realised that where she was targeting him with old high school hangs up (without meaning to), he could be doing the same for her. She, too, had changed a lot since back then but she would never completely shed her bitchy streak.

She wet her lips. "I... feel like I'm betraying him here, but you really can't say. It's important he tells Blaine himself. "Kurt has... he's bulimic. He has been since high school, but he's on and off the wagon. He nearly died from it."

Puck paused, mulling her comment over. He wasn't exactly sure how to take it, and part of him wanted to tell her to fuck off, that clearly, she didn't know anything about him. But then again, how was she supposed to? They had never really been friends, and though he'd changed greatly after the birth of his daughter, it wasn't like Quinn would have a way to know that. "Well," he said finally. "Protective of anybody other than yourself isn't something I would've pegged you for either." His tone wasn't accusing, but honest. "But we all change, Quinn... Some for the better."

Dark eyes focused in on the woman's face as she spoke, and it hit him like a kick in the chest what she was saying. "Oh, fuck..." he said, shaking his head. "I... I won't say anything to B, but... Goddamn, that's bad, Quinn... How long has he been dealing with this? Is he more on the wagon right now, or off?"

Quinn scrunched her nose up slightly at this and gave him a look. "Clearly you were too busy with your pressing social schedule in high school to realise that I spent a hell of a lot of time protective of Kurt." Yes, she was definitely offended at his comment whether he meant it or not. He wasn't in any position to judge on bullshit like that when he was just as guilty of it himself. After all, she wasn't the one who threw people in dumpsters for kicks. "Someone had to be protective of him when assholes were making his life hell and driving him to self-loathing."

She leant against the counter and put her drink down, looking at her shoes. It hurt so much thinking about Kurt did to himself. "I guess you could say he's dangling off the side of it by a thread. He's had a good few long months, but he's showing signs of slipping. Not that he makes the signs obvious by any means. He's very honed with it. I don't know how long exactly, all I know is I found out about it in junior year. It was probably sometime before that. He got worse when his dad had that heart attack. It's why he hid behind all the amazing clothing. Still does."

Edited 2012-02-09 10:05 (UTC)

"Look," Puck said, holding his hands up again. "I shouldn't have said that. You and Kurt were tight for years, and I know that. You stuck up for him when most other people didn't. And yeah, I was a dick back then... But I guess what I'm trying to get at is that we've both changed, Quinn... We've all changed. High school's behind us now, and the people we were there? Aren't the people we are now. The dickhead who used to throw gay kids in dumpsters, is now BFFs and roomies with a gay kid. And the two HBICs of McKinley are a fag and his hag in Miami, apparently helping each other through some really serious shit... I wasn't trying to start a 'Who was the shittier person in high school?' fight by any means."

Puck watched her carefully. The concern for her friend was evident, and Puck couldn't deny that it served to make her more than just hot to him in that moment. Sure, she was cute, and blonde, and had a great body, but what he saw now was far beyond that. He saw a genuine person who had a very deep and heartfelt love for her best friend, and that wasn't hotness. That was beauty. "Wow," he finally said, taking a swallow of his juice before continuing on. "That's... That's some intense shit... Is it... I mean... He's not slipping because of Blaine, is he? It'd kill B if he knew Kurt was doing something like that because of him..." He took a breath. "If I'm way off track, let me know, cuz I really don't know that much about that, other than what it actually is. I don't know what makes it better some times and worse others or whatever..." He paused, taking one step closer to Quinn, not wanting to crowd her, but to let her know that he was there, and listening to her. "Look," he said, finally. "We were never friends in school... I get that, and I get why. But Quinn... We both love our non-romantic other halves, and we both want them to be happy, preferably together, so what say we work together to do our best to help make that happen?"

"No, you shouldn't have said that and if you want me to believe you're not the douche you were back in school, it would be best to keep comments like that to yourself in the future," Quinn told him quietly. She didn't know why she let his comment affect her so much, but she did. She was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt here, and it would be nice to have the same in return. "High school was a hell of a long time ago. I'm in law school now and I've had to deal with a lot of things that's forced me to grow up. I think we can just agree to leave the past in the past, and it will be easier for everyone."

Her eyes narrowed just a little in thought before she had to shake her head. "No, he was shaky before Blaine came on the scene. I think having Blaine's attention has made him ultra-aware of himself and you can see the tendencies pushing back to the forefront, or the random comments about his appearance or how he feels about himself. He doesn't realise he's doing it, see. He'll catch himself when he has control but once it starts spiralling, it can descend extremely quickly. It's pretty basic in it's concept..."

She glanced at him and pressed her lips together wryly, and then mimed sticking her fingers down her throat. "Among other things. When he's slipping, it can be a range of things. He might cut his food up into tiny little portions and eat it a certain way. He won't eat until everything is laid out in front of him in perfect sequence. Some days, he might only eat foods of one colour, or he won't eat at all. Back in school, people just assumed all his layers were a fashion statement, but it was a shield around him so he could hide behind them. And I would love to agree with you on that, but the best thing we can do right now for Kurt, is not stick our noses in and force anything, or he will pull the plug and never speak to Blaine again. When you're ill like Kurt, you literally don't understand the concept of being attractive to anyone. Like I said, Blaine has his work cut out for him."

"Fair enough," Puck replied, setting aside his glass to slide his hands into his pockets and meet Quinn's gaze. "Sounds like a plan to me," he agreed. "We're different people now, and it's better if we don't keep living in the past."

Puck watched her, something twisting in his gut at the thought of Kurt feeling so bad about himself and his appearance that he'd come to the point of making himself throw up. He took a breath to settle himself. "You're... probably right. I don't know, I'm kinda... I'm used to protecting B and trying to help him... I've gotta learn to let him handle shit on his own. He's totally capable, but I'm... He's like a little brother to me. He more or less came down here for me. He's been through some shit, and he's been around for me when I really needed him, so..." He shrugged. "I guess there comes a time when you gotta let people have their space and all that." He was quiet for a moment before looking back over to Quinn. "You're welcome to have a seat..."

Quinn just nodded in agreement and sipped her drink. She should probably leave, but something was keeping her there... and she was internally telling herself it was lingering just to be extra sure Blaine really was okay.

"He seems lovely. Very personable, very attentive. Cute little thing, big smile, lovely eyes..." She had to admit, even if there was some reluctance there. She was worried for Kurt as to Blaine's intentions, but at the same time, she knew for all of them that once Kurt got his first boyfriend, he wouldn't be as accessible to them as he always had been and it would be a big learning curve to accept. It did seem, though, that there was a big chance it was about to happen. She went over to the table and sat down, falling quiet for a few moments. "It's just going to take some getting used to. I guess it's going to be the same for you and Blaine. Assuming they hook up. Kurt's a little harder to read than usual over all of this."

Following the woman over to the table, Puck sat across from her, sipping his juice for a moment as she remained silent. He could tell there was a lot on her mind, and he could only imagine, what with Kurt's condition, and the fact that he was her best friend. "B's a great guy," Puck agreed, meeting Quinn's gaze. "He's pretty fuckin' nuts about Kurt. Like, I've never seen him like this before. He'd kill me if he knew I was talking about it to you, but..."

"I'm not really used to sharing B, that's for sure," Puck replied. "But I want him to be happy. He deserves it. He's a good guy. I hope for Kurt's and Blaine's sake that it works out." Glancing over at Quinn, he smiled. "You're pretty crazy about your fag, huh?"

"He seems very nice, and the way he helped Kurt so selflessly when he hurt himself, we're all really grateful for that. To be honest, I don't think Kurt has quite realised what has hit him yet. He's... not used to recognising the attention. I won't say he doesn't get the attention, because he does. He just mostly chooses not to notice it. With Blaine, he's notice," Quinn said with a nod for emphasis. "I just hope he's okay. We were chatting in the park and he suddenly said he didn't feel very well."

She gave him a sympathetic smile, and it was somewhat cathartic to see this compassionate side of Noah Puckerman showing through. She never knew it existed, and that was probably why she went in with all guns blazing on the defence. She was out to protect her boy, no matter who became collateral damage in that. "How are you going to feel if he starts dating Kurt? I mean, it probably means you'll find Kurt around here on the regular, and Blaine not around on the regular. Kurt has been one of the most important people in my life for years now. People didn't realise just how close we were. Even when I was away at Yale, I spoke to him every day on the phone. But ever since he had this really long hospital stay where we came close to losing him, we've just all discovered this super-protective streak for him. Most of the time he tolerates us, but sometimes he'll put us in our place. He's still a very private person..." she explained, thinking about walking in on the poor guy during an extremely private moment the other day.

"He is. He's the reason I changed, if I'm honest. I never gave a shit about anybody but me until... Well, part of it came after me and Rachel gave up the baby in high school, but Blaine was the one who really went in with reckless abandon to get me to really think about shit and face my issues instead of just hiding behind being mister badass or whatever. He's a pretty big pain in the ass when he wants to be, but it's only because he cares. Honestly, I don't know what I would've done without him over the years." The man bit back a smirk that nearly rose to the surface. He knew what Blaine was up to, even if Quinn didn't. "I'm sure he's fine. I'll check in on him in a bit. If I go in now, he'll tell me he's not a little kid and he doesn't need another mommy."

Puck smiled back at Quinn, somewhat sheepishly. "I'm okay with that," he said with a shrug. "I mean, everybody deserves their chance to find something or somebody that makes them happy, right? And of all the people in the world I wanna see happy, Blaine's the top of the list. And if that means that I spend some nights in the future hearing the sounds of gay sex through the wall, then I'll be fine with that. How would you feel if Blaine and Kurt started dating and you had a hobbit attached at the hip to your fag?" he joked lightly, winking at her. "Sounds like, if he's that private, the fact he lets you guys in at all is a damn good sign that he cares a hell of a lot about you."

Quinn bit down on her lower lip. "We got off on the wrong foot, and I just want to apologise for that. You and I did a whole lot of judging back in high school and I guess when you get met with old faces from the past, it's a bit harder to shake old habits. Kurt would probably bitchslap me if he saw me in action right. Actually, he could well bitchslap me just for lingering here and sticking my nose into his business, but it's basically on top of the job description for fag hags. Do you think we could clear the slate and start again?" She leaned forward and gave him a brief hug. "It's actually nice to see you, and see that you didn't... stay how you were in school. Fags are clearly good for you," she teased with a laugh.

She pulled her lips to the side as she sat and then took a sip of her juice. "I don't think he'll find sex on the cards with Kurt any time in the direct immediate future..." she had to offer, albeit cryptically. "Oh hell, us hags want our hags hooked up. It's like a life mission or something, but we just picked the hardest fag to deal with in that sense. Blaine seems like a total sweetheart, and Kurt's smitten. I know he is. I guess that's why I pulled a ninja and got in Blaine's face in the park. I sort of wanted to interrogate him a little and get to know him to see what we were playing with. But he's just so adorable and sweet and tiny. He really is tiny, isn't he? Just so long as I know his heart is in the right place, and so are his intentions, I think I can cope."

"Yeah, we did," Puck said with a nod of agreement. "I apologize, too..." He returned her hug, and had enough decency to keep it short and sweet when a part of him was tempted to hold on. "I'm all for clean slates... They've served me pretty well in the past. It's good to see you, too, Quinn. I don't know what all's going on with Kurt, but I'm glad he's got a support system like he seems to have. You guys all seem really tight. And yeah. Fags are definitely good for the soul. Even the hobbit ones who make you watch Ghost in a snuggie every now and then."

"Blaine's... Well, I don't think he's going to be expecting it any time soon. He's one of those few people in the world who still hold sex as something sacred and special. He'd probably bitchslap me for saying it, but it's true. He doesn't want sex unless it's with the right person and it means something to both parties." There was an unreadable look on Puck's face for a brief moment before he shook his head. "I'm not gonna lie, the way he talks about love and romance and all that shit sometimes? Kinda makes a dude wish he'd thought about it a little longer before becoming a manslut in high school." He shrugged, turning to look at Quinn. "Yeah... And when he gets excited, he dances on furniture, but he'll be good to Kurt. He's serious about that stuff."

Since when did Noah Puckerman smell good? That wasn't something her brain had been expected at all. Seriously. "Did Blaine queer-eye you?" she found herself asking before she could stop herself. Oh god, she didn't mean to say that out loud, but then it was out there, and really, she was curious. If he had, it would be a whole new level of cute. She could only imagine how an event like that would have gone down. "Kurt's actually doing really well for himself these days. He's a fully qualified hairstylist and he's doing fashion design at college. It was a rough start, but I'm so proud of him. It's only a matter of time before he gets discovered and becomes the next big thing. This getting a boyfriend thing has just thrown us all off it was so out of the blue. He makes you wear a Snuggie and he wants to date Kurt?" She put her hand up to her mouth to stifle a laugh, but it didn't work.

She shook her head in agreement. "Neither is Kurt. Just between you and me, I think it sounds like he's on the same page as Kurt. Kurt maybe even more, um, finicky about it. He's very discreet, he'll listen about sex, but very rarely talks about it himself and even then, it's us lot about our sex lives and straight sex. He could probably be an expert on that, ironically. Much to his chagrin. Hey, don't beat yourself up. I had a relationship that lasted years, and Mike is the only guy I've... been with. Even if you think you have it right, even then it can still not be right at the end of the day."

Puck gave her a weird little halfway smile at that question and shook his head. "Not to my knowledge. Well, I mean, we did go shopping once and he gave me some pointers, but he also wears his jeans rolled up with no socks sometimes, so I don't know. He may have queer-eyed my life, though, in a lot of ways... If that's what you wanna call it." He laughed. "The shopping trip was pretty funny, though. Damn. He's really busting his ass, huh?" Puck had never been close to Kurt, but there had always been a quiet determination in the other boy that he had to appreciate. "Yeah, he's a special one... Snuggies and Patrick Swayze movies... He and I actually had a huge BFF war once because I said Footloose was better than Dirty Dancing. It was like I'd committed a cardinal sin."

"That's kind of ironic," Puck had to say, imagining the fabulously, flamboyantly gay Kurt Hummel as an expert on straight sex. "Making a poor gay dude think about tits and vaginas... You should be ashamed." Not that Puck had any room to talk on that front, but it was still funny to think about. "Yeah... I guess that's true, too. Blaine's this... Like, deeply romantic kind of dude. Wears his heart on his sleeve. I guess he just makes a dude think there might be something to that whole finding the right person thing. He's a good guy. The best, really."

"Damn, that would have been some amusing tales. I've seen Kurt queer-eye straight guys at fifty paces, and the guys haven't even realised what was going on. Next thing you know, the guy is a metrosexual and booking Kurt's services at the salon as a regular date because his new style got him banged six ways from Sunday," Quinn laughed fondly, resting her fingers against her cheek as she thought about Kurt and his antics. "But Blaine does seem a lot less subdued on the appearance side of things than Kurt, but like I said, Kurt's OCD like that. And yes, he's been busting his ass for years. When he's ill, he pushes himself beyond limits. It's his distraction, see. If he works, he doesn't have to think about himself. If he thinks about himself, he thinks bad things about himself. It's... I just hope he tells Blaine. I really do. It's not like he's deluded to what he has. Kurt is more than aware of what he is doing. I just have a feeling he's going to conceal it from Blaine, but I think... hope... that Blaine might help him turn a corner with it. If he's genuine about Kurt. But like I said, work cut out for him. Kurt can be the biggest stubborn bitch ever in existence when he wants to be, and boy will he tear strips off you if you come up against him when he is. Maybe Snuggies and Swayze is exactly what he needs a good dose of."

She gave a little wave, but pursed her lips in amusement. "He's used to it. He's basically synced with our cycles and gives our PMS a run for its money. But he needs to just let loose. He hasn't in a long time... maybe ever. I cannot even remember the last time I saw Kurt drunk. He's always the DD. If Blaine is what you said he is, I don't think Kurt's going to quite know what hit him. He strikes me as an excited puppy and Kurt usually bitchpls's people like that."

"Yeah... I don't know about getting queer-eyed on that level. I'm clearly not rocking the metro look just yet, although with all the chicks that try to get into Blaine's pants, I may have missed the boat on my look." He grinned over at her with a little wink. "But I just don't think I could rock rolled up jeans and no socks like Blaine does." Puck gave a little nod then. "I hope he does, too. Blaine won't judge him. He didn't judge me for being an arrogant prick, so there's no way he'll judge Kurt for being ill. It's kind of adorable how crazy he is about him... In that whole, he's my bro way. Snuggies and Swayze are surprisingly good for almost any crap day."

Puck laughed out loud at that, his grin growing. "That... has to be the scariest apartment in the world for a week or two," he said jokingly. "Blaine's definitely like that. He loves to let loose and have fun with his friends. He's a happy guy, and he seriously loves making other people happy, too. I think it'll be good for both of them, honestly."

Quinn just laughed again, eyes shining in amusement. "Well, don't stand too close to him too long or you might come out douse in CK cologne and dressed in Armani with extremely white teeth and laser hair removal treatment. But Blaine is just so cute! He's tiny and adorable, and I want to put him in my pocket and take him home with me! Despite the fact I would tear his dick off and roll it in chilli and fry it for a shark's breakfast if he hurt Kurt, I am so proud of my boy for finding such a hottie. Whatever Blaine's style, he makes it work. The rolled up jeans are adorable and those big puppy eyes with those eyelashes could take anyone down. Kurt's not going to know what hit him. Why are all the adorable ones gay? I think it's just still going to be forever an enigma to me how he picked you for a BFF. It really is like he's a playful puppy who just decided he was keeping you, no questions asked," she said, unable to hide the smirk. "With a White Knight complex. I wish I could find my White Knight. He's got to be out there somewhere."

"You better believe it," she confirmed with a point and sipped her drink again. "Kurt's vicious when he wants to be. He totally has an acid tongue. He didn't stay Head Cheerio by having good hip action, he stayed because Sue thought he was the best thing since picking on Mr Schuester. He had the same bite she did and now they have dinner together whenever she comes to visit him in town, and he goes to every Nationals competition each year to help condition the squad. Except the year he was ill. He and Blaine are chalk and cheese. This is going to be amusing to watch play out."

"I'm just glad I had to shave my mohawk for my job, or I'm pretty sure I'd wake up in bed with Kurt having shaved it one night if he stayed over with Blaine or something. Hell, for that matter, B might've done it himself. He really is tiny... And pockets are his chosen mode of transportation." He winked before staring at her in amusement. "Damn. You don't play games with your fag, do you? Yeah, you're right... We're pretty much polar opposites, but that's pretty much how it went down. We met at Dalton, and he pulled me aside and we talked a little, and the next thing I knew, I had this little gay sidekick... He wouldn't go anywhere, and it didn't take very long for me to get used to him being there." He didn't say anything to the last part, if for no other reason than he really didn't know what to say.

"Do me a favor and warn Blaine before that time of the month comes?" he joked. "On second thought, don't... That's the one amusing thing about my bro having his own other half... But that's incredible. I didn't realize Kurt was still involved with the Cheerios. Blaine's definitely the complete opposite, but I think they'll be good for each other. And they'll sure as hell be fun to watch."

Quinn nodded emphatically. "No offense, but I always thought that just made you more of a loser. It was like you were trying to overcompensate for something. This looks much more clean cut and hot. It suits you better, a little responsibility and purpose. And nope. It's never a game when it comes to my beloved gay guy. He'll take a piece of my heart to the grave with him. I still couldn't tell you how we managed to go from blackmailing each other over coveted secrets to this, but I wouldn't change it. He made high school bearable for me and gave me the confidence to accept my Yale offer. Can I be honest? I thought you would end up in a shotgun wedding with Berry and you both be working at Taco Bell to pay the bills. It's nice to see I got that assumption wrong."

She snickered and pointed at him. "You're a little bit evil, you know that? How can you treat that adorable little person so harshly as to inflict a hormonal fag and his hags on him for a laugh? I can honestly say, though, that I doubt Kurt would focus his moods on Blaine. Unless Blaine deserved it. You piss Kurt off, you know about it like nothing else. But you hurt him? He'll shut down on you. He's been surprisingly open about Blaine, which is why we're all so surprised. Very, uh... open. I walked in on a compromising event, and even though it might lead to much silent treatment, I think it's a good thing. Totally hot too..."

"You've been struck by a smooth criminal."

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