dapperdevious: (Mischievous (Arms crossed))
Sebastian Smyth ([personal profile] dapperdevious) wrote in [community profile] slidingmoments2012-08-15 08:40 pm

"Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear."

Who: Sebastian Smyth and Santana Lopez
What: Of fags and hags and BFFs
Where: Blaine and Puck's place, Miami
When: About three weeks after Kurt's admission to the clinic

It had been an intense as fuck few weeks, to say the least. Just as Sebastian and Jeremy arrived back from a few months in Paris, they landed into the shit-storm of Blaine and his other half. It had settled a little now, but Blaine hadn't come back from Jacksonville. He was still staying up there with Nick's folks and apparently visiting Kurt every single day, according to Puck. Sebastian and Jeremy had taken the trip up there a couple of times with Puck to see Blaine, and he was mostly in positive spirits. He said Kurt was still battling, but he had actually put on a little bit of weight over the last week, so things were looking up. It was still blowing Sebastian's mind that Blaine was even dating, let alone in something this serious and so invested in it. He was a better guy than Sebastian was.

This time, though, the twins stayed home. Jez had been up all night with food poisoning from a dodgy pizza, which taught him a lesson to order weird stuff no one else liked. He got his own chicken and pineapple one, while Puck and Sebastian stuck to all meat with anchovies. Jeremy hated seafood, but this time, that proved to be a downfall. They had been going to head up to Jacksonville again with Puck, but Puck ended up going on his own this time. And Jez was an entirely different source of worry for Sebastian, as the mess he nearly got himself overseas. He was too damn nice, and people continuously took advantage of that.

Sebastian was just sitting there flicking through the TV shows and having a cup of coffee while he once again tried to put some sense into the whole situation. It was seriously fucked. Surely it all had to get better soon? But what if Kurt never got better? Then what? The buzzer at the apartment door went and had Sebastian frowning up the hall. There was no one else around to get it. Or, at least, he knew if he didn't get it, Jeremy would drag himself out of his ball of misery to do it because he was, again, too nice not to. So Sebastian set his coffee down and got up to get the door.

Telling himself that he would flash his cock if it was salesman or Jehovah's Witness trying to save him from sin, he pulled the door open and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Fuck, a lesbian. Now I don't have an excuse to get my cock out."
have2justbeme: (Oh hell no)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-08-15 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Flying to Miami to surprise her fag was a relatively standard Santana Lopez thing to do. The pair of them were extremely close, and Santana always did love a good surprise. At least a good surprise she wasn't on the receiving end of. She'd been to Miami before to visit Puck, and she knew where he and Blaine lived, so there was no need to warn Sebastian of her impending arrival. Just the knowledge that she was going to shock the pants off him (hopefully not literally) when she turned up there.

So it was with a smug smirk that she waited on the other side of the door, breaking into a full-on grin when Sebastian opened it. "You could, babe, but I don't think it would do you a hell of a lot of good. I'm sure it's a perfectly nice cock as far as cocks go." Letting her cool demeanor go, she stepped into Blaine and Puck's apartment and gave Sebastian a hug. "How the hell was Europe, bitch? You promised to Skype and call, and you never did, so I take it you had a good time?"

Eyebrows raised, she glanced around the room as she followed Sebastian to the livingroom. "Where's Jez? Please tell me that you didn't lose him in Europe or something. I don't think I could deal with a heartbroken fag who misplaced his twin brother. This is why I chose a near-heartless bitch to be hag to, you know..." She was kidding, though. There weren't many secrets between the two of them, and one of the ones that Santana kept most closely for Sebastian's sake was the fact that the bitch queen had a heart. Just a very carefully guarded one.
Edited 2012-08-15 17:02 (UTC)
have2justbeme: (Thumbs up)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-08-24 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
Santana strode into Puck and Blaine's apartment without even thinking about it, setting her bag to the side so no one would trip over it, before shooting Sebastian a bored look. "Yeah, yeah, we've all heard about your epic cock more times than we can count. From you every time, though. I really would like to interview a selection of your previous one-night stands and ask them if your cock's as epic as you say it is, or if you're just blowing smoke. I know you were getting repeatedly fucked, babe... How many times did you make me watch Queer as Folk before I realized that your favorite 'Something came up' excuse was courtesy of Brian Kinney himself? And what's this I hear about some European bitch trying to sink her claws into our little Germ? Not okay."

"You'd be like Humpty Dumpty. Nobody'd put you together again," she replied, with her brow raised in question when Germ was suddenly closing himself into the bathroom and apparently puking his guts up. "Jesus Christ! What did he eat on his pizza? Raw chicken? Or was somebody trying to poison you and missed and got Germ instead?" She wrinkled up her nose in a look of mild disgust at that. "You eat anchovies... I always forget that... Probably on purpose because anchovies are disgusting. I'll take a water... Bottled if you have it, because God only knows how clean the dishes are in a place where Blaine and Puck live," she added, only half joking. She knew her boys had grown up... all of them... But that didn't mean she trusted their cleaning skills.
have2justbeme: (Watching)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-08-29 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
"You could have the most epic cock on the planet and I wouldn't give a flying fuck," Santana replied cooly. "No offense, but I have no use for a cock anymore. Although, I'm sure there are hundreds of gay guys along the way who are more than grateful that yours is so... whatever it is... But for fuck's sake, now you're in the realm of the outrageous. Get a life, weirdo." She was only joking, and she moved over to the couch, flopping down carelessly. "You seriously pay a lot of attention to fake tits for a fag, you know." At the conclusion of Sebastian's brief recounting of his brother's awkward moment, Santana could only shake her head, her nose wrinkled in disgust. "Jezzie? The fuck is that? I seriously would've bitch pleased her so fast it would've made her empty head spin."

"Oh, Christ," Santana replied, shaking her head with a grin of amusement. "Poor Germ would be attached to you and forced to occupy himself while you were fucking. How goddamn awkward would that be? Fuck. Poor guy. Pizza's gotta be a bitch to get sick on, too. Gross." And suddenly, her mouth was hanging open as Sebastian went off on a tangent she knew nothing about. Was he saying that Blaine was forcing himself to puke? What? That couldn't be right. But what he was getting at, she had no idea. Glancing at him, she finally spoke. "Yeah. Yeah, you better start at square one with that one, buddy. You lost me at self-forced puking, so we'll go from there." Her arms crossed over her chest, and her head moved to one side in a sassy motion that told Sebastian quickly that she wasn't waiting around for this story, and he better get to talking.
have2justbeme: (Flirty)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-09-07 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
"And more for me on that note," was Santana's playful response. "Hey, you already had the gay vote, so since I'm not in the market for a nice cock, you get the bi vote, too. Jesus, what the fuck was she playing at? I guess she thought Germ was just another thing she could buy with daddy's money... That's fucking gross. He really is too sweet for words, though. You took all the bitchiness, and he got all the sweetheart side of things."

Santana was quiet, for once, waiting for Sebastian to tell her whatever the fuck it was that she didn't know. The fact was, always having been the bitch she was, Santana wasn't used to not being in the know. Ordinarily, she'd use her bitchiness to get the information she wanted no matter how that had to go down. But it didn't work so well with Sebastian. They were both bitches, and they usually just ended up cancelling each other out in the long run. "Yeah, I know Kurt. Fuck, do I ever know Kurt. Spent a long period of time hating him. It was stupid high school bullshit, but fuck did I hold onto that particular hate for a long time. But... Shit..." She paused, meeting Sebastian's gaze in surprise. "B... Blaine and Kurt? Are you kidding me?" She was about to speak up again, when Sebastian caught her with the knowledge of what exactly it was Kurt had been struggling with, and her heart almost dropped to the floor. There hadn't been much love lost between her and Kurt, but the fact was that if he was the person Blaine loved, she would deal. Sebastian was very protective of Germ and Blaine, and Santana had come to love both of the guys, so there was no way she was going to put on her bitchy pants in reference to Kurt. "Shit. That's really fucked up. Is the clinic thing helping at all? I just can't... Wow, poor guy... And Blaine, too. How's he handling it?"
have2justbeme: (Oh hell no)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-09-12 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
Santana just turned a questioning glance on Sebastian at that. It was no secret that Sebastian had a sort of fuck buddies relationship with his roommate, Jeff, and Santana had seen Jeff's statement that he was in Miami a while back on Facebook, so there was little question in her mind who Sebastian was talking about. It was the rest of the comment that confused her. "Wait... What are we talking about elevators and lube?" she asked, putting a finger up to stop Sebastian right there. "Jesus... Anybody who knows you knows you wouldn't intentionally touch a tit or pussy if you could help it... And the only asses you're into are ones with dicks on the other side. Pretty sure I would've bitchslapped that cunt."

"What a fucking mess!" she exclaimed, shaking her head in shock. "That's fucking insane. God, the poor guy. I mean, I've done some fucked up things to my body in the past... Exhibit A, my tits, even though they're worth every penny. Doesn't mean it wasn't a stupid thing to do at the time. If one of those fuckers ever exploded, I'd be up shit creek without a paddle. But as stupid as that was, it wasn't heartbreaking... The idea of someone depriving themselves of a basic need like that? That is fucking heartbreaking. Blaine's... Always had a hell of a lot bigger heart than me. I don't know that I'd be willing to hang around like that and take on all those issues. Then again, Blainers is a better guy that most. And as long as Kurt doesn't treat him like shit, I guess I can accept it. If he doesn't, though... I don't know what I'll do... It's kind of low to bitchslap someone with a life threatening illness."
have2justbeme: (Realization)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-09-17 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"Jesus Christ," Santana replied with a shake of her head. "Can we say years of hate was apparently more like years of UST? But even then, I don't care how many years you've hated someone, hate sex sans lube can't be a good thing. Oh, my God. So, how exactly did that even work? They just were bitching each other out and fucked instead of beating the shit out of each other? My God, it sounds like a really cheap porno. And then the whole Jeff being Mercedes' ex thing, too. Jesus, you guys keep that shit all in the family, don't you? It's just like when we went to McKinley... There was a bunch of partner swapping shit going on, but damn. You guys are a fucking soap opera and a half. Jesus Christ... I gotta stop going so long without catching up with you, bitch... You're better with the gossip than the fucking National Enquirer." Seriously, how the hell did all these things happen in what had seemed like a relatively short amount of time? It suddenly seemed like a lifetime.

"Yeah, I always kind of had this inner hate for him after he knocked me off my HBIC throne. But at the same time, I respected him. He was out way before I was, and I was jealous that the bitch was owning it when I was still sucking dicks like it was my job. As much as I wanted to hate him and tell him to go jump off something tall, there was a part of me that kind of... Was inspired by him, I guess. It took a while, but I was so damn happy when I finally told the world to fuck off, and stepped out of the closet, loud and proud. As much as I didn't want to like him, I kind of owe that to him. I can't believe that's who Blaine fell in love with, though. It's just... The whole deal where I keep parts of my life separate in my head, and Kurt and Blaine fell into pretty different sections if that makes sense." The fact was, as much as Santana and Kurt had been at odds, she was happy for him that he'd found a guy as great as Blaine... Even if she was worried as hell on Blaine's part. "Love's a bitch. Or so they tell me. I'm not sure I'd know it if it bit me on the ass."
have2justbeme: (Pwning disco)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-10-04 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, well... At least there's something analyzable going on in the first place. My life is about as dull as watching paint dry these days. A bitch stays busy, you know... It's been a long time since there was any drama in my life, so I have to create some now and then. You know me. Ever since me and Brittany split up roughly, oh... I don't know, forever ago? Random fucks haven't led to drama. Thank God. I haven't fucked anybody's wife or anything fun like that. I thrive on this shit, Smyth. You know that about me." She had to snicker at Sebastian's explanation of his particular stance on the whole situation. "Nothing's worse than that, for sure. Epic awkward moments. So tell me, any new and interesting ass in your life, Seb? I've heard rumors of your fucking far and wide in Europe, so..."

Santana looked up, automatically listening when Sebastian listened for his twin, and shook her head once Germ was safely back in his room. "Poor kid. He sounds rough." She put her hand up to stop Sebastian in his tracks. "Hey... I never said I hate Kurt now... Blainers told me what Rachel pulled, and I was shocked that he didn't just bitchslap her and send her on her merry way. We've all grown up, and it sounds like Kurt grew up in... kind of the wrong ways, albeit, but he's not the same way he used to be. We all have grown... Some more than others, for sure but still." She had honestly barely known Blaine when in high school, other than just through her friendships with Sebastian and Puck, but she had known Kurt well, and for some reason, it never crossed her mind to put the two people together in her head. They were both gay guys, but she hadn't seen enough similarities for her to think they'd work as a couple. But clearly, she wasn't seeing the whole picture, because they had fallen head over for each other, and in a hurry, too.
Edited (Hit enter too soon #ignoreme) 2012-10-04 03:48 (UTC)
have2justbeme: (Devious smirk)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-10-16 03:24 pm (UTC)(link)
"Excuse me, bitch," Santana interrupted, holding up one finger with a sassy head wobble of doom. "Never did I ever say that I haven't had a good fuck since Brittany. What I said was that none of my fucks since Brittany have stirred up the dramas. I've had a relatively drama free sex life. All fun and games and no drama. I like it that way, babe. But don't lie... You love Blainers... You're sassy gay protective bitch with him, too. Not just Germ... who pretty much sounds like a walking Germ right now anyway."

"See, there you go. I told you. Sassy gay protective brother bitch on like a boss... With Germ and Blaine. You had to show up to look out for him. Seriously, though, that's nice, Seb. There's nothing wrong with being a good brother. It's the one time when people question whether your lack of a heart thing is bullshit." She poked her tongue out at him with a grin, before the information about Kurt came out with more details, and she was just shaking her head in disbelief. "Jesus Christ. That's so horrible. Shit... I don't even work out how I should anymore. I can't imagine running myself that low anymore. Blaine really got himself into a tough situation with Kurt, but if he can do it, more power to him. I don't have time to stir up bullshit with people anyway. I'm not going to do that. If Kurt makes Blaine happy, while I'm not sure I understand how with the shit he's going through, more power to him. Blaine deserves some damn happy."
have2justbeme: (Bitch don't even)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-11-17 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
It would never cease to catch Santana off guard sometimes just how quickly Sebastian could call her on her bullshit. He wasn't willing to let her think that he bought her crap, and as much as she wanted to be annoyed by it, she couldn't help appreciating the fact that he knew her that well. Friends in life came and went, but there was something special in the connection between a fag and his hag. Especially when said fag and hag were cut from the same cloth in so many ways. "You know you're an obnoxious bitch for being right, don't you?" she challenged, but the look on her face more than gave away how right he was. "Fine... Yes. I'm scared. Brittany was my best friend. And as... thick as she was sometimes... or usually... she and I had such a background together. We were so close that it was just easy being with her at first. Until we split. But... relationships are hard, babe. And fucking is easy. I'm... I'm happy for Kurt and Blaine, even if I'm worried. It sounds like a hell of a lot of drama for a first relationship. That's all."

Santana grinned back at Sebastian, rolling her eyes. "No... You definitely don't have that. And definitely don't want Meg Ryan up in this bitch. Britt tried to make me watch City of Angels once, and I fell asleep. But this is definitely not your average love story here. I don't know exactly how bad eating disorders get as far as the mind part of it. It's not exactly an area of expertise for me... But it sure seems like Kurt freaked out and threw Blaine under the bus once. That being said, though, if he's getting help, then maybe Blaine can help him through it. I really just don't know, though. I haven't talked to Kurt in ages. I used to despise him, but I think I'd actually like to see him now."
have2justbeme: ([Sebastian] Back up bitch)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-12-10 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
There was no doubt there for Santana that it was useless to try lying to Sebastian. It just was. He knew her probably better than anyone else ever had, which only made sense given their shared characteristics, and the fact that they had been friends the better part of forever. "I got kind of used to the casual sex scene," she admitted. "But it really hasn't ever been what I really wanted. But yeah... I won't lie and say that it doesn't have me thinking a little to know that our boy's in the land of serious relationships. Scary as fuck, because, I'm sure Kurt's a good guy these days, but that is a godawful amount of baggage for someone's first relationship, and especially somebody as tenderhearted as our hobbit king. I guess it couldn't hurt to talk to him. Besides, if he's going to be with our boy, I'd like to know the kind of dude he is now."

"That sounds... ridiculously fucked up. I mean, I never knew much about psychological diseases, other than dating someone who still believed in Santa Claus at seventeen years old. But that wasn't really hurting her... Just kind of... Abnormal at her age. But I've never really known anybody with an eating disorder or any other form of self harm involved. I don't even really understand the concept. I mean, yeah, when we were in high school and cheering, of course there were times we didn't eat well, or skipped a meal to get into our uniforms if something happened to make us put on a little weight, but nothing to that extent. It's fucking awful to even think about."
have2justbeme: (Conversation)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2012-12-31 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Santana pondered that question over for a moment or two. The fact was, she really hadn't thought that much about what she wanted in terms of a long term partner. She knew what kind of girl she liked to fuck, but that was all very much superficial and had nothing to do with whether or not she could see herself in it for the long run with a woman. With a little smirk, she turned to Sebastian with her eyebrows raised in amusement. "Do you really want to know?" she asked jokingly. It was true, though. There was no other lesbian in the world that Sebastian would actually concern himself with on that level, and he was definitely Santana's number one gay. "No... No, I'm well past wanting to date someone that needs another parent more than they need a damn other half. I'm looking for somebody that's more on my level... Hot, fun to hang out with... Somebody who can more than keep up with me. It needs to be a team effort, you know? I don't want to date someone who's way behind me or way ahead of me, either."

"That doesn't surprise me, if I'm honest," Santana replied. "He was always so... so driven and controlled. He had to have all his ducks in a row all the time, and I guess that's a lot of the way this illness works. I never bothered getting to know him back then, though. I always just hated that he'd taken what I thought was rightfully mine." She grinned at him in amusement. "Well, honey, there's never been a question that my ass was way better than Quinn's, but thanks for the reminder. But you're right. I just... I worry about him. But I guess if we think we've got a shot in hell of changing something, we're barking up the wrong tree. It's all about standing by him now. He's in a hell of a situation. But yeah... Thank God I didn't go down that road. It would've been way too much for me. No fucking way I could've handled it." She gave Sebastian a firm nod at that. "Damn right I do... It's just nice knowing that you've got somebody there for you when you have a hard day and all that shit, you know? I guess you don't really know, though." There was a light laugh then. "You're a big fan of your manslut ways."
have2justbeme: (Wistful)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2013-01-09 06:18 am (UTC)(link)
There was a smirk on Santana's face, too, as she looked right back at Seb. "You need lesbians for entertainment? You really are slipping, babe... What's it been, like eight hours since the last time you had your cock sucked? I mean, there's always Queer as Folk or some other show with hot fags doing fag things, right?" She was only teasing, though. She knew that even in the aforementioned Queer as Folk, the lesbian story lines bored him to tears... or more like bored him to the point of making his own commentary that usually had Santana having to pour every ounce of focus into not giving him the chance to see her laugh hysterically at it. But she also knew that her life wasn't TV, and while he had no fucks to give about lesbians in general, she was a special case... She was his dyke, and he was her fag. That was just all there was to it. She laughed, leaning back more lazily in her seat, one leg crossed over the other as she thought it over for a moment. "Well, I guess you're right there. It's not like I don't have a hell of a lot to offer a girl. You know, as long as they don't mind fake tits. Hey, I'm not scared!" she protested, but the look on Seb's face told her loud and clear how much he believed that particular announcement.

"Seriously?" she asked, eyerolling him like a boss. "Seb, my career has nothing whatsoever to do with eating disorders, but even I know you don't just stop it. It's a part of you. It's a disease, not just some choice people make. I mean, there has to be something in your mind that just... changes you... fucks with your head to make you actually want to put your fingers down your throat, or make yourself shit everything you eat. It's horrible to imagine, but he's having to deal with it. And maybe if Blaine can help him through it, it really will be a good thing for both of them. But no... I won't fight Blaine on this. Besides, it would piss me off that you took his side if we were fighting, and then there'd be epic fag/hag fail going on, and just... Nobody wants that, do they? It just isn't any fucking fun. So fuck that. We'll just stand by him like we're supposed to as his friends, and move on with him." There was a moment when she just stopped and looked Seb over with a shake of her head. "Yeah, you were kinda made to be a manslut. Look at you? I mean, even your face screams, 'You've got 206 bones in your body, do you want one more?' Which it somehow doesn't do on Germ... Still haven't quite worked that one out in my head."
have2justbeme: (Smooth Criminal)

[personal profile] have2justbeme 2013-02-01 02:02 pm (UTC)(link)
"You have a point. Damn your pickings are slim these days. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. But you're right on the whole Justin/Jeff thing. I always thought that. Way too blonde. Seriously, no offense, but has Jeff had a different haircut like... ever? I swear that was the same damn look he had when we competed against you guys that first time at Sectionals, and that was when Bieber hair was actually sort of popular. That's been how long ago now?" She snorted, shaking her head. "He must be a decent lay at least. But yeah... Hot brunette sounds like a winner to me, though. If I come across any, I'll send them your way, although I can't promise anything about their cocks. You'll have to figure that part out on your own. My good cock radar has waned in recent years. Sorry to disappoint. But I'll send you hot ones, just the same. If the cocks are fail, you can bitch me out over it later. I'll even try to pretend like I care." She winked at him in amusement before giving him a firm nod. "Fuck yeah, I want a beer. And I'm not scared. I just... haven't done it in a long time, that's all."

"Yeah, kinda hard to show up for a court date from six feet under anyway. Not a good look for anybody. But yeah... I think Blaine's going to throw himself into this whole thing... or already has... and there's really nothing much you can do about it at this point but just roll with it. Puck talked to me a little about it, too. He said you guys are all worried, because Blaine's gone headfirst into this thing, and there's no backing out of it as far as he's concerned. Awww, man. I haven't seen your folks in ages. It'll be good to see them." She laughed a little at that and gave Seb a wink. "Hey, if he's identical to you, he's got to have it where it counts on some level, doesn't he? If only in the epic cock department." It wasn't as if Santana hadn't seen Seb naked. They'd shared living space before, for one reason or another. And seeing Seb naked was pretty much a fact of life if you shared a living area with him for any amount of time, even if only a few days. He simply had no shame about the matter. And seeing Seb naked meant seeing Germ naked, too. It was just kind of how it went with identical twins, even if Germ was actually very modest and reserved about showing off his body. "I wouldn't underestimate his skills... He does have the Smyth genes."