Sebastian shrugged, though he was still giving her his patented smirk that, when his twin tried it, only generally made him look constipated. "Hey, I'm bored. Let's just go with you filling me in for the sake of my entertainment." Generally he wouldn't give a flying fuck about lesbian romance, but Santana was one of his closest friends and she knew deep down, despite his banter and bitchiness, he cared about her and would probably kill for her to protect her. There was nothing conventional about their relationship, nor would they want it to be, but it worked for them and they knew they had each other's back where it most counted. In that sense, it was weird they hadn't spoken face-to-face in such a long time because but they weren't the sort to write desperately long emails to keep in touch every day either. It was one of those friendships that just picked up where it left off when they met up again, and it worked for them. Fuck the rest of the world, which was basically their attitude to most things and why they were such a dynamic duo when push came to shove. Pushing and shoving really not out of the question either. If they had both been straight, they would have had a hellishly kinky sex life, to say the least. "So, what? Lesbians aren't team players. You're fucking hot. What's got you so crippled fighting a chick to match that? It's not like you have some fucked in the head list of pros and cons some chick needs to slot right into. Or are you scared you'll try and fail?"

"Well, looks like his ducks turned rabid and bit him in the ass along the way. I can't profess to get it, but I know when I accidentally implied Kurt could just stop it, Blaine nearly tore my fucking balls off to choke me with them and Germ gave me a bitchpls look I was epically proud of. There's just that stigma attached to it... until you're in the thick of it and see the results with your own eyes and realise it's fucking serious shit. It's pretty much long-term attempted suicide and that's pretty disturbing. Either way, if you're going to be sticking around here like I am, Blaine will bite at your ankles until they bleed and back you into a corner until you swear with blood from your own dick that you will support him with Kurt. So, that means figuring out how to like the guy and not let past rivalries get in the way. And as much as I love you, babe, Blaine's my brother. I'm sort of forced to take his side first if you guys go at it all Mexican stand-off like. Honey, I'll never not be a fucking manslut. Emphasis on the fucking. I don't do relationships."