Text to richandlovingit

[breaksniceguys.livejournal.com]

Hey Superman you wearing your underwear on the inside of your pants today?

Comments

[richandlovingit.livejournal.com]

Actually, I went commando. I hated Calvin's latest ad campaign, so I'm staging a coup.

[breaksniceguys.livejournal.com]

It's a coup I will certainly be happy to support. Really, I think you're doing the right thing.

[richandlovingit.livejournal.com]

Such a shame we're not, well, in the same post code. Uh, zip code. Not that I ever got what you lot are zipping.

[breaksniceguys.livejournal.com]

I've always been a bigger fan of the unzipping. And I know. You have no idea how much I'm regretting how I've treated you. I want to make it up to you when I'm back if you'll let me.

[richandlovingit.livejournal.com]

Let's just wait until you're back and see what happens.

[breaksniceguys.livejournal.com]

Okay, sure. Of course. I understand. How are you doing otherwise?

[richandlovingit.livejournal.com]

Look, this is probably going to sound extremely arrogant, but if I'm going to go out of my way to commit to something, I need to know it's worth it because my time is a valuable resource. If we're both too busy to have time to even have a regular conversation, it won't work. I'm not really the dating sort, so if I do it, it's got to be something worthwhile. So far, it's just been a date and not much else. No avenue to gain any momentum.

[breaksniceguys.livejournal.com]

I know, and this is why I'm trying to breach the gap a little. I fucked up, Ethan. I know I did. I'm not... I assume you know some of my history. I'm pretty sure I told you some of it. I'm really great at running away from the things that I actually want. This time I managed to stay in physical proximity but not mental. And with Kurt having his first boyfriend and now this... I just freaked on all sides and went hands off everywhere. I can't explain it in a way that's not going to make you think I'm not worth the time. But listening to Kurt, watching him and Blaine... I want that. I want the real thing. And I'd really like to get down on my knees and beg for just one more chance. Just one. If I screw it up this time then I'll stop wasting your time.

[richandlovingit.livejournal.com]

Holly, I'm not denying you take care of your friend. I understand. I took care of Tom through a lot of stuff too. I just expected to hear from you again after the date. That's all.

[breaksniceguys.livejournal.com]

I spent too long trying to think of something to say to you other than "please fuck me against the wall until I can't walk anymore."

[richandlovingit.livejournal.com]

Mm, I would say I'm impressed, but I've heard that a billion times over the years. I'm looking for something more intriguing.

[breaksniceguys.livejournal.com]

Which is what gave me performance anxiety. How was I supposed to set myself apart? I mean, I'm a substitute teacher that had my ex-boyfriend's baby and who can't stay out of her ex-student's lives and still loves jazzercise. I wear spandex, okay? I get my eighties on and I love every second but it gave me the amazing figure I have. I have commitment issues coming out the wazoo even when I rock leather pants.

[richandlovingit.livejournal.com]

I was hoping you were already just automatically apart. Tom assured me you were. What has all that got to do with who you are on the inside?

[breaksniceguys.livejournal.com]

Doesn't mean I can't get nervous, or worry about the fact that you might find me lacking. I really liked you, Ethan. I do like you. I've waited a long time for someone that gets all my engines running. That's the me most people know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's me, but it's not all of me. I just want the time to show you the other me.

[richandlovingit.livejournal.com]

Lacking what? And that's all I've been hoping you would do, Holly... which sort of actually takes interacting.