"And it's killing me to see you again and not help but wonder..."

[usedtohaveabs.livejournal.com]

Who: usedtohaveabs and jewhawk
What: Awkward moment
Where: The Hoyt House Inn
When: After THIS

The only place to stay Puck and Quinn could find with vacancies was a romantic little guest house in Amelia Island. It was only about fifteen minutes drive from the clinic Kurt was in, and if they went further afield to search for a hotel, it would just put them further away if either Kurt or Blaine needed them, and they both promised they would be near by. But what they soon discovered was that it wasn't 'vacancies' and more just a single vacancy, and in a double room to boot. If they wanted to stay here, they were going to have a share a bed, and if ever there was an awkward moment, it was that.

But their loyalty to their favourite gay guys won out, and a quick discussion ended with them both saying 'But Kurt might need--' and 'But Blaine might need--' simultaneously, so it sealed the awkward deal. Now they were together in the quaint and charming little Hoyt Master Suite, with the receptionist assuming they were on their honeymoon or something and giving them the 'Honeymoon Package', which included champagne, strawberries and chocolates in their room with matching bathrobes. Both were like a deer caught in headlights that they just agreed to it to shut the woman up and then hurried to the room to get away from there.

Now Quinn was lying stiffly on the four poster bad, hands folded over her stomach as she gazed up at the ceiling of the room with a soft clear of her throat. "So, uh... now what?"

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[jewhawk.livejournal.com]

Puck nodded slowly, Quinn's words echoing the thoughts in his mind. Was he part of the reason this was happening? Probably. No, definitely. He was. He knew he was. Kurt had gone through his whole high school career being treated like shit by people who didn't understand him, and didn't want to understand. Puck was one of those people, and he knew it. Shit, if he could go back and change it knowing what he did now, he would in a heartbeat, but it was too late for that now. Too late for him to undo the hurt and heartache he'd caused Kurt, and through him, Blaine, Quinn, even himself. "You know... I went through life being this fucking hardass... I wanted to be tough as shit, and I wanted everybody to know it and it never fucking once occurred to me that hurting other people to prove I was a badass didn't do anything but prove how weak I really was. I never hated Kurt. I was afraid of what I didn't understand. B's been awesome for me, because he's the reason that I've been able to grow out of all my stupid notions about gay people, and just... people who were different than me in general... He saved me, whether he realizes it or not. I was a horrible person, probably well on my way to dying young for some stupid reason, and I met B, and... Well, he changed my life. For better or worse, he changed me. But it's for better. There is no worse side of it."

As Quinn kissed him, Puck was caught off guard by it again. He could seriously get used to this, though. This... this whole thing. She was every bit as beautiful as she'd been in high school, if not even more so, and holding her like this just felt right. And he was relatively sure he'd stopped breathing completely as he pulled her closer to him. Maybe this was just a moment of comfort between two people who were hurting for their best friends. Or maybe it was more. Maybe it was much much more. But all Puck knew was that he needed Quinn tonight... And he thought that right now, they both needed nothing more than to feel like they had someone else going through this with them. With a subtle movement, he pressed his lips back closer to hers, deepening the kiss while one of his hands rubbed gently at her back.

[usedtohaveabs.livejournal.com]

Quinn was then just overwhelmed with a sense that she just didn't want to talk anymore. It wasn't anything to do with Puck and his presence, and everything to do with that sinking feeling that no amount of talking was actually going to save Kurt. He had to make those conscious choices himself to work to get well, and he had to let Blaine close to hold him through it. Now that he had Blaine, the rest of them wouldn't be enough for Kurt. That was both a heart-warming concept for Quinn, but also absolutely terrifying. Kurt had so easily pulled the plug on Blaine once, he could do it again. She didn't think so, though. She had seen the way Kurt's eyes lit up just a little when Blaine came into the room, something changed just by Blaine's presence. For the first time in a very long time, there was hope here that Kurt might beat this once and for all. He had completely spun out of control in realising he was falling hard for someone, but maybe once he got over these hurdles, it might be a more long-term recovery now. She just hoped like hell that Blaine had the strength for it. It wasn't going to be easy.

She didn't say anything. Words were superfluous now. If she tried to start talking away, everything would just get into an even more confused jumble and more awkward, and no one needed anything awkward right now. She just kissed him more deeply, arching her back to secure their closeness even more. Oh hell, she might regret this in the cold light of day, but right now she just needed to be close to someone, and she and Puck were in the same boat. They were both adults, right? They could make these conscious choices. She had to move on from Mike. It wasn't even a rebound, it was just about closing that chapter on her life... and she was ready. At least, she hoped she was.