http://justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] justbeingaqueen.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] slidingmoments2012-04-05 02:12 am

"We just pull through our lives so alone. That's why you've got to hold me."

Who: [livejournal.com profile] justbeingaqueen and [livejournal.com profile] rockstarwarbler
What: I might need you to hold me tonight...
Where: Puck and Blaine's apartment
When: Three days after the explosion
Rating: PG

It was three in the morning and absolutely pouring with rain outside. Even though they lived in one of the middle-ish floors of the apartment building, Blaine could still hear the rain beating heavily on his window as he lay wrapped up in a cocoon of covers in his bed. It had been three days since the devastating double-date at the pizza place and the only time Blaine had moved out of his protective ball of blankets was to use the bathroom, shower, and occasionally eat if Puck or the twins brought him anything and he felt hungry. Mostly he didn't, though, and just left the tray on his dresser. Luckily it was spring break and there was no college, and he had cancelled all the music lessons he had booked, citing illness. He was miserable and heartbroken, and missed Kurt beyond belief.

The rain falling was making it harder and harder to ignore the urge to pee though. He had been sleeping on and off all night, but hadn't had a consitent sleep since the disaster happened. He couldn't switch his brain off in a mix of missing Kurt, being angry at him for ruining everything, and worrying about him with the illness that seemed to plague him so terribly. Blaine couldn't fight the need for the bathroom any longer, and pushed up out of bed to shuffle through the apartment to the toilet. He made sure he was quiet as he passed Puck's room and then the spare bedroom that Sebastian and Jeremy were sharing, and the rain had left the weather cold and miserable, so Blaine wasn't planning on being out of his nest of misery for any longer than he needed to be.

He was just washing his hands after waiting for the water to run warm through the taps when the apartment buzzer sounded and he nearly crapped himself in fright and splashed water all down the front of his Shrek pyjama top. What the fuck?! It was three in the morning - or after that now - and someone was ringing their buzzer? He shut the faucet off and went out into the hall at the same time Puck flung his own bedroom door open blearily, probably thinking he had to spring into cop action but still mostly asleep to figure out what that was. They just both shared a puzzled look for a moment before Blaine went up the hall to the speaker and hit the button. "Who is it?" And there wasn't even a reply, causing Blaine to blink and frown, so he pushed the button with his thumb again. "Hello?"

"Blaine?"

Blaine's heart shot up into his throat and a choked gasp escaped him when the voice came through the speaker. "Kurt." It wasn't even a question or enquiry. The voice was hoarse and quiet, but he knew. He just knew. "I'm coming down." He released the button and spun around in a frenzy, grabbing the first jacket off the nearby coatrack and trying to pull it on. But it was Puck's and swum on him, and it was also inside out as managed to only get one arm in before he was struggling with the chain lock. "It's Kurt... I've just got to..." he explained to Puck without even looking at him. He got the door open, and it stayed open as he took off into the hall to the elevator. But after pushing the down button, he got impatient and gave up, taking the stairs anyway because he was terrified Kurt would change his mind and run off before he made it there doing something stupid like waiting for the elevator.

He was in Shrek pyjamas, no shoes, no socks and a way too big inside out leather jacket, but he didn't care as he threw himself out the front foor of the apartment block and... there he was. Kurt was stood on the sidewalk drenched from head-to-toe, his usually perfectly styled hair slicked down over his face. The rain was coming down in bucketloads and splashing loudly onto the sidewalk and roofs of the cars lining the streets. Blaine stopped a few paces away from Kurt, hand grabbed around the steel railing of the three steps into the building. That was when he noticed through the rain that Kurt was crying. His eyes were red and swollen, even if the rain was washing away the tears.

"I'm sick," Kurt finally confessed through a broken sob, his shoulders more prounounced in how they were hunched from where his clothes were sticking to his slender frame, feeling heavier than he was with how wet they were. He shooked his head with another crushed sob, hanging his head when he wasn't sure he could even reach out for Blaine like he so desperately wanted to. His legs were weak and tired, and he just stood there crying. "I'm so sorry!" Then his legs gave way and he stumbled a little when it all got to much. He could hardly even remember walking here, but he had. After waking up from a bad dream, instead of going to the refrigerator to stuff more bad food into him, he had just walked out the apartment and kept walking for blocks until he found himself standing in front of Blaine's place. He was wet, freezing and exhausted, but once he found himself standing there, he knew one thing if nothing else...

He needed Blaine.

Blaine's reflexes were lightening quick and he jumped forward to catch Kurt before he fell. Fuck, he was soaked to the bone, and now that Blaine had a hold of him like this and the rain had seeped right through Kurt's layer, Blaine could see and feel Kurt's bones. It hit him like a tonne of bricks, and to hear those words fall from Kurt's lips, Blaine teared up himself and nodded. "Yes, you're sick. It's okay... it's okay. Kurt, we need to get you inside or you'll get sick. T-There's nothing of you. We have to get you inside," he said anxiously. They were both soaked now, but all Blaine was worried about was Kurt and the broken apology felt like it stabbed into his heart like a knife.

Kurt just shook his head, though, and his hands wrapped tightly around Blaine's arms. He could hardly even see Blaine through the rain and the tears, but he knew he was there and when he blinked through it all, Blaine's concerned face was there looking back at him with those big hazel eyes Kurt found it so easily to lose himself in. It had just seemed way too fucking easy, and his life wasn't allowed to be that easy. He just couldn't fight it anymore. His head was telling him he should, but his heart was telling him to try and get this fucking right. "I love you."

And then it was Blaine's turn to nearly lose his footing. Never in a freaking lifetime would he have expected this. He had been tethered between the sensation of relief to see Kurt and tender concern for his welfare, but also pride that Kurt had managed to come here and confess his problem that he had been fighting for so long and trying to conceal. But this? Blaine was absolutely 100% speechless and the only reaction he could manage for a long few moments was to just stand there and gape at Kurt in shock, barely even remembering the rain was pouring down on them. Then he just caught Kurt's wet face between his hands and kissed him, and kissed him like the rest of the world just didn't exist.

It lasted for a countless length of time. As soon as the kiss began, it intensified. Blaine might have reactionarily instigated it, but Kurt was kissing him back desperately and it became a battle of trying to put too much emotion in behind it and they had to eventually break it to catch their breath. But Kurt's was ragged and a little laboured and he was leaning in on Blaine just a little too dangerously for Blaine's liking. Something wasn't quite right, and he had to wonder how much Kurt had been taking care of himself since the crash and burn back at the restaurant. "Let's go inside. We can get you dry and warm, then we can talk. Why aren't you asleep? Kurt, jeez, baby..." Blaine just shook his head in disbelief and hugged Kurt around the shoulders to lead him up the small handful of steps and into the apartment building.

Blaine did choose to take the elevator this time, only because really did not seem to have the strength to get up those few stairs, let alone to the fifth floor. The door was still unlocked when they got there, but Puck wasn't around and his bedroom door was closed again. Blaine knew he would probably get interrogated about this whole thing later, but for now, Puck was giving him and Kurt the space they probably did need. Kurt was shivering all over, and with a hope that he wouldn't disturb Puck and his brothers too much, Blaine had to turn some lights on and usher Kurt into the bathroom. He turned the heat on and then went out to the linen cupboard to get an armload of towels with a blanket. "You need out of the drenched clothes, sweetheart, but if you're going to flip being undressed in front of me, I'll go and wait outside. I'll get you a change of clothes, but you have to promise me to get those clothes off and wrap up in the blanket. Okay? If I make you a hot drink, will you have it?"

Kurt's teeth were chatting and he was so cold, he couldn't even feel his feet. "You're wet too. You have to get changed..." Maybe it was evasive, but he was confused and concern for Blaine was easier than concern for himself right now.

"I will," Blaine promised and then handed Kurt the blanket. "It's chenille. Not even see-through. I'm just going to get you something to change into now, and I'm going to put the kettle on. Three minutes, max. I'll knock when I'm back so you can cover up." He gave a little nod for emphasis to show Kurt he was serious and then left to do just what he said. He left it just a little longer than three minutes and delivered the change of clothes to Kurt in the bathroom around the pulled over door. The last thing he wanted to do was spook Kurt about his body issues all over again. That could come up later. Right now, he just needed Kurt dry and warm so he didn't come down with pneumonia. Blaine shed his own PJs for a new set and with the kettle boiling, he went back to the bathroom again and knocked softly on the door.

"It's open," Kurt responded and was sitting down on the closed toilet in Blaine's soft blue knitted top and Adidas track pants. He was still shivering and nursing his wet clothing in his hand, feeling awkward and stupid now that reality was setting in. What had he just done? He came to Blaine because he needed him. That was what he had done and when Blaine returned to the bathroom, Kurt just looked up at him helplessly. The water was dripping through his fingers onto the tiles and he nibbled on his lip. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to bother you... If you don't... um... I-I can leave if you don't want to see me. I just needed to see you. I've missed you."

Blaine took the wet pile from Kurt and tossed it into the bath tub, the clothing making a wet squelching sound when it hit the bottom. They would worry about them later. Instead, he just picked up one of the fluffy towels and started to softly dry Kurt's hair for him. "I don't want you to leave and you're absolutely not bothering me. I'm glad you're here, even if I'm worried about you. But... I've been worrying about you ever since that night, so it's not a new thing. It's... you know what? Screw a hot drink. You'll probably only take it to be polite anyway. Let's go crawl into bed. It will be way warmer for you there." He finished towel-drying Kurt's hair the best he could and then gave his a quick rub, even if it was sending the curls into a frenzy. This wasn't the most conduvice environment for a heart-to-heart and he didn't even know if Kurt would talk to him when push came to shove. At least either way, they could be warm and comfortable.

When no protest... or even anything else... came, Blaine just coaxed Kurt from the bathroom and flicked the light off behind him. If he was honest, his mind was spinning and it could hardly catch up with the fact Kurt was here. Kurt was HERE. Not away and hating him and never wanting to see him again. He was here, and he wanted to be here and he told Blaine he loved him. But Blaine was trying to keep it together and keep calm, even if part of his was squealing internally from excitement and another was worried this was all just Kurt's illness and insecurities talking. It didn't matter what, though. He was going to cuddle up with Kurt and if they didn't want to talk now, they could talk when Kurt was ready. He just needed to get warm. It was seeing his own clothes hanging loose on Kurt when they were figure-hugging to him that told Blaine the seriousness of this whole thing. Had Kurt seen a therapist, or was he still in the extremely precarious and dangerous zone he had been that night at the restaurant? Was his mood volatile? Could he pull the plug again at any second? What if he wanted to binge here? How the hell would Blaine cope with that when he knew nothing about it?

Kurt was subdued and quiet arriving in Blaine's bedroom and he just stood there while Blaine fussed with the messy covers to pull them back. He invited Kurt to get in first, and Kurt didn't protest. He was suddenly exhausted and the moment he was lying down and felt Blaine get in after him and pull the blankets all around them so there were no breezy holes, he started to relax. It was Kurt who sought out Blaine's body, though, and put his hand on Blaine's waist. "Can I have a hug, please?" he whispered.

Blaine didn't need to be asked twice. He wriggled over in the bed and looped his arms around Kurt in the nest of covers that had been so lonely for so many days now. He cuddled up to Kurt and the kissed him softly at the corner of his lips. "You're shivering so much, you're so damn cold. Do you feel like talking about any of this? It's late. You don't have to. Just... tell me one thing? If I fall asleep, are you going to be gone when I wake up?" He couldn't hide the fear and uncertainty in his tone. He was scared and he never wanted to feel that pain again that he felt that night in the restaurant bathroom. He had been devastated when Kurt broke up with him and even more crushed hearing those horrible words. They had so, so much to talk about but maybe it wasn't time yet. This here was progress. At least, he really hoped it was.

"I want to go to sleep." The realisation was stark. Kurt hadn't slept much or eaten in days. This was the first time he felt secure again and he didn't want it to end yet. He didn't have the energy to talk like they needed to either. He knew what Blaine needed and he was going to try to explain everything to him, but it was three in the morning and he was tired and freezing. If he tried now, he would get too emotional and he didn't want to fly off the deep end again. "Can you please just keep holding me? I promise I won't go anywhere. I'm staying... I just need you to hold on please. Don't let go."

Blaine just gave a nod and secured his cuddled hold around Kurt. He rested their foreheads together, focusing on the soft trembled shivers of Kurt's body against him. They were quiet for a couple of moments, lying still in the embrace and then after a few more moments of drawing on some courage deep withing, Blaine finally murmured, "I love you too."



RP LOG, SCENE COMPLETE