"I've got nowhere left to hide, it looks like love has finally found me."

[rockstarwarbler.livejournal.com]

Who: rockstarwarbler, justbeingaqueen, jewhawk and usedtohaveabs (posting order)
What: Double date... and then some.
Where: Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza, Miami Lakes
When: Thursday night
Rating: Leaving it open for now

It was true, Blaine really was like a dog with a bone. Once he decided he was going to try and nudge Puck into Quinn's direction, hopefully without either of them realising, he wasn't going to give up on the idea. And really, a double date had to be fun, right? Blaine always wanted to get a boyfriend so he could double-date with his BFF and patience really wasn't his virtue. Why wait on something like that? For some reason, though, when he suggested it to both Puck and Quinn, neither of them protested. It might have been because he worded it in a way like he was going to surprise Kurt and that both their BFFs should get along, right? Maybe they didn't actually realise he was setting them up on a date? That didn't matter. Blaine could still work with this.

But Kurt had been the one to very reluctant agree. Blaine told him he wanted to take him out for another date, but that it was going to be 'a surprise'. Kurt didn't seem into the notion, and he didn't seem a fan of surprises, but Blaine reassured him with would be fun and he would love it. Though, maybe he missed that mark because now they were all seated at the quaint little table for four in the restaurant waiting for their huge main course to arrive, Kurt was sitting back in his seat and eyeing Puck and Quinn across the table, cool blue eyes sliding back and forth between them before they locked back on Blaine's face wordlessly.

Blaine just grinned and took Kurt's hand on the table, giving it a squeeze. "I love pizza! Do you love pizza? There is nothing better than it, I swear. It smells amazing." Okay, so maybe he was somewhat oblivious to the discomfort Kurt was feeling right now. It was a double-date with their best friends! That just equalled fun in Blaine's mind, and it would be even moreso when they went bowling afterwards. Who didn't like bowling?

Comments

[rockstarwarbler.livejournal.com]

Blaine coughed wetly when the heavy crying got to the point where his nose was stuffed and everything was dripping or leaking. He pulled his jacket back up towards him to see if he had any mini packs of Kleenex hidden in there. And then broke down in a fresh wave of sobbing when he realised Kurt would be carrying tissues in his bag without fail. It was like the fucking Mary Poppins bag, he had everything in there, and now it was maybe making sense to Blaine why Kurt was so finicky and OCD about things.

He looked at Puck through tear-filled hazel eyes. "What?" he got out in a small voice when he didn't have any lucky finding tissues in his pockets. "Are you saying you knew about this? That Quinn told you? W-Why didn't you tell me? Or gives me a heads-up? I-I don't understand any of that sort of stuff. I mean, you just sort of think it's something that cheerleaders do in school when they want to look like supermodels. It wasn't just that. What he said, he sounded like he meant it. H-He doesn't want to date me! I've been nothing but a giant pain in his ass from the get-go. I can't believe I was so stupid. Of course no one is going to want to put up with me. I am pain in the ass. I'm a short-assed weirdo who annoys people, and I've annoyed Kurt, and now he wants nothing to do with me!"

[jewhawk.livejournal.com]

The way that Blaine's sobs wracked his body tore Puck apart inside, and he shook his head, hating this whole situation and what it was doing to Blaine. He reached into his own jacket pocket, recovering a pack of Kleenex he hadn't taken out since the last time he'd had a cold, and handing them off to Blaine. With soft comforting sounds, he ruffled Blaine's hair with his hand.

Puck nodded slowly, feeling like an epic dick for not telling Blaine what he knew. "I... I did, but Quinn made me promise not to tell... She said it was Kurt's thing to tell, and she was right. I don't understand it either, B, but Quinn says it's like... Kurt has voices in his head telling him that he's fat... They tell him to eat, and then tell him he has to get rid of it or he'll be fat and disgusting... Q said... She said that it took forever for her and Mercedes and Holly even to begin to break through the walls he put up around himself. It's not personal, man... It's the illness talking. Hey!" he interrupted, catching Blaine's chin in his hand to force him to look him in the eye. "You listen to me. You're fucking incredible. You're the best friend I've ever had, and yeah, you're a short ass, and yeah, sometimes you're a pain in the ass, but that's what makes you the awesome dude I'm best friends with. So don't let Kurt's illness make you think less of yourself, dude. That's not Kurt. That's a fucking voice that's telling him he doesn't deserve you."

[rockstarwarbler.livejournal.com]

Blaine knew it wasn't Puck's fault that he knew the information first, but it just hurt. It felt like he had been blind-sided in the whole thing, and that if he maybe had a clue or a heads-up, he could have prepared better for this and maybe known how to deal with it. It had all blown up in his face, and he had no choice put to just accept the fact that he had lost Kurt... someone that had come to be so special to him and that he wanted to get to know so, so much more. Now that was all gone, and Blaine was pretty sure his heart was breaking for the first time, and he didn't like it at all.

He listened to Puck relay what Quinn had obviously told him. "So, it's... bulimia. I'm so stupid. I never saw anything wrong with him. It never even crossed my mind that there would be. Okay, when he hurt his face when he passed out on the treadmill, maybe that was strange, but it didn't seem it! And he tried to push me away then, but I just thought he was embarrassed. N-Not that any of it matters anymore whether I understand or not, because he doesn't want me! He broke up with me! It doesn't matter why, it matters that he said it and that's what he wants."

The tears just seemed to come thicker and faster at Puck's words, and even though he nodded in confused agreement because he trusted Puck unconditionally, it soon turned into a shake of his head. "But I've still lost him," he said tearfully. "I-I want to help him. Why doesn't he want me to help him? Why can't I be what he wants?"

[jewhawk.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," Puck replied softly. "It's bulimia... He's had it since high school, and he was doing a lot better until some dudes started acting like assholes and making him feel like crap about himself. B, you're not stupid. Kurt's been practicing hiding this from people since he was 15, B. Look... People who are sick sometimes say things they don't mean, and I don't believe... Not even for a minute... that Kurt doesn't want you." This was a fucking mess. How was he supposed to convince Blaine of this? And in the long run, did it even matter whether or not Kurt wanted him if he wasn't going to let him in? "He's scared, B. He's fucking terrified that he's not good enough for you. Or anybody for that matter."

"I don't know, Blaine," he admitted, shaking his head with sadness, This was a fucking mess, and as Puck met his best friend's gaze solemnly, it felt like a knife was being twisted in his chest. "Listen, dude... I know you wanna help him. And maybe that'll end up being a good thing in the end, but... Right now, I think you need to maybe talk to Quinn and Mercedes. Not right this minute, but soon. They're the ones who know this thing... Way better than either of us. They've been dealing with it for years. They might have some... I don't know, some idea as to what we can do."

[rockstarwarbler.livejournal.com]

Blaine felt sick himself. Probably all that pizza mixing with the stress of the shock. He swallowed the sick feeling back as he listened and it felt just that little bit harder to breathing now, like something was crushing his chest. In the distance, he could hear a low rumble of thunder and he only just noticed now that it was overcast. Tears were still dripping down his face and he watched a cab drive past and pull up in front of the restaurant he had just run from and pulled some of the tissues from the little pack to wipe his eyes. "I have to believe him. You didn't see his face. He was so... serious about it. I'm not what he wants or needs, and if I just keep trying, it's going to make him think I'm getting up into his face even more. I didn't even realise I was annoying him so much," he said with a hitched breath.

"And then have him get more pissed off at me for interfering in his business when he doesn't want me to?" He shook his head, which was starting to ache. "No, I can't talk to them. I-I don't want to. The mere thought makes me feel sick. I can't deal with anything to do with Kurt knowing he doesn't want me. It hurts too much. I-I hope they can help him, because clearly I can't. As much as I want to try, he doesn't... I'm not... I just need to move on."

[jewhawk.livejournal.com]

"B, look at me," Puck said, turning to face his friend full on. "Do you trust me? Because I'm telling you the truth. Even Quinn said it... That she was afraid Kurt would push you away because he wants to let you closer, and that scares him... Look, I don't know everything. I really don't, and maybe you're right, and Kurt just doesn't want you, but I don't believe it. Blaine, you're a good person... A great person, actually, and you mean the frickin' world to me. And I know that the kind of person you are is gonna do whatever it takes to help make Kurt happy, even if that means letting him go, but I'm not sure if that's where you need to be right now."

"Okay," he said finally. This wasn't the time or place to keep trying to reason with the heartbroken man in front of him. For now, he just needed to let it go and let Blaine have his time to recover and yes, even grieve, because in his eyes, he'd lost everything, and that was heartbreaking for anyone. "Come on, buddy," he said, standing and dusting off his pants before reaching out to help Blaine up. "Let's go home."

[rockstarwarbler.livejournal.com]

Blaine did look at Puck. At least, he did until a noise back in the direction caught his attention, and just as he was wiping some of the wet from his cheek with the backs of his fingers, he looked back up the street just in time to see Quinn and Kurt step out onto the sidewalk towards the cab that had just driven past and parked outside the pizza place. He froze, unable to look away when he saw Quinn open the door of the cab for Kurt. It was too far away to see much, especially through the tears, but their gazes met very briefly and it just made Blaine want to bawl his eyes out all over again.

But then the moment was gone. Quinn stepped in between their line of sight and Kurt was bundled up into the cab. The door was closed and the car drove off in the opposite direction. Blaine's breath hitched around a broken sob and he just nodded miserably. "Home. I want to go home." He wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and he was pretty sure he never wanted to get out again.