"Try a little tenderness."

[rockstarwarbler]

Who: Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel
What: TLC and hopeful suggestions
Where: Kurt, Quinn and Mercedes apartment
When: Saturday night

It was two in the morning, and Kurt was once again having a rough night. They went to bed around eleven and got a couple of hours sleep with Blaine spooned up behind Kurt, but just when it seemed like things would settle, Kurt was up with bad stomach cramps that led to a few trips to the toilet. He had tried to sneak out of bed and not wake Blaine, but it wasn't even five minutes before Blaine realised his absence, getting up to sit with him. Kurt was uncomfortable and miserable, and Blaine mostly just sat there in the living room while Kurt did what he needed to try and seek some comfort. Kurt had finally come to him and cuddled up next to him before Blaine got him to lie with his head in his lap. They both dozed on and off, but the cramps kept coming in waves.

They tried to keep quiet with Quinn and Mercedes asleep down the hall, but it was hard for Kurt to relax. Blaine was just finishing making a mug of peppermint tea when he heard the toilet flush in the nearby bathroom again and Kurt came back to the living room. Blaine brought the tea through and handed it to Kurt and then took the hot water bottle he just prepared out from under his arm so he could settle on Kurt's belly. "When all else fails, old home remedies can never hurt, right? I always remember having a hot water bottle when I was a kid and my tummy hurt. It had a fluffy cow cover," he said with a soft laugh. "I could always try rubbing your belly? You look exhausted, sweetheart. I just want to help."

Comments

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt still felt like food was his enemy. Especially at times like this when his stomach was just painful as it tried to cope with eating normally all over again. Kurt had developed a number of food sensitivities they were discovering as they tried to re-introduce food to him. He was lactose intolerant and wheat-based products were upsetting his system as well. The doctors were confident they would rectify themselves as he came to be able to tolerate more food and his metabolism balanced out, but for now, he had follow a strict diet with limited those foods. Only, keep a small level of them so his body could build a resistance back up. Dinner that night had comprised of a small egg white and spinach omelette with a piece of wholemeal toast and a yoghurt. He had gotten through half before he was full, which wasn't as good as hoped, but better in general than he had been managing.

The meal wasn't going to really agree with him in the long run, though. He ended up losing it about an hour later, so they had to check in with his case manager who wanted to know if Kurt vomited on his gate leave home. They advised to reduce his meals by a third and see how he went with breakfast in the morning, and suggested Emetrol to help with the stomach pain if it continued.

Kurt was just tired of feeling sick all the time, which is why he was sticking to the treatment the best he could. Years of controlling his illness, and controlling what food he put inside him or rid himself of, now his body was making the choices without him and it was exhausting. Plus, he had been so homesick, this gate leave was well overdue, but two days didn't seem like enough. The hot water bottle actually felt amazing on his stomach and a little groan of relief was escaping him before he could stop it. "I am exhausted. So are you, you should go get some sleep. I'll be okay, you know. If I could just stop needing to run to the bathroom, I could handle the stomach pain. Ironic that I used to actually deliberately make myself this sick, but now I'm just tired of it. You had a cow hot water bottle? Really?" Just when he was sure Blaine couldn't get more cute too.

[rockstarwarbler]

Blaine gave a little dismissive flick of his fingers. "I'm not going anywhere and you know it. I'm going to sit right here with my boyfriend who isn't feel good so he doesn't have to be alone. And I'm going to do this..." He gently rested his hand on Kurt's stomach and started to rub it very softly through his shirt just above the hot water bottle. He gave Kurt a fond smile and rested his head down against Kurt's.

"And yes, I had a cow hot water bottle. I was a small kid, so I used to feel the cold. While we're both awake, though, I wanted to talk to you about something. If you're not up to it, we can stop. We can just cuddle instead. No pressure here at all." As he spoke, he was affectionately stroking his fingertip through Kurt's hair near his temple. He just adored touching Kurt, being with him, keeping him company. The whole thing had been really, really hard but through it, they had finally managed to connect. Kurt was letting him in and trusting him, and Blaine loved being his boyfriend. He loved taking care of him and it wasn't something he wanted to give up in a hurry. "I know we haven't really talked much about the future or what happens beyond the clinic, because you haven't been in the right head space, but when you get out, I want to keep looking after you and helping you, so I, um... wondered if you wanted to think about living together. But before you say no right up or worry about all the change, I had another idea..."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt was hesitant about anything touching his stomach, because it had been feeling painful most of the day. He thought Blaine had only been joking with it anyway, which is why he didn't actually reference it. But now here Blaine was, tenderly rubbing Kurt's stomach and it wasn't painful at it. Coupled with the hot water bottle, it actually felt really soothing and all Kurt could do for the moment was sit there with his head resting back, gazing at Blaine with a disbelieving adoration. His eyes were heavy from the tiredness of being up so late, but for a short while, they just sat there quietly looking at each other. Words weren't immediately needed. Kurt's hand nestled over the top of Blaine's and he linked their fingers in together over his stomach. There was something beyond comforting about that moment, that when Blaine continued on his next thought, it roadblocked Kurt from immediately freaking out over the prospect.

A frown of uncertainty did appear, though. "But we... we haven't even had sex yet, or really even come that close, and you want to... to move in together? But I live with Quinn and Mercedes, and they know all about my condition. They help out when I'm in a bad way. I don't think I can... can... t-that's a really huge thing. I-I don't know if it's such a good idea, because I'm really close with them and I've lived with them for years. I wouldn't want to just put all of this solely on you, and... we haven't... aren't we sort of skipping ahead on things a little quickly here? I... I know you want to help and you've been so amazing and wonderful. I'm not just going to palm you off if they let me out and I come home. You're welcome over whenever you like. You can stay over. I mean, we share a bed pretty okay together when I'm not feeling sick, right? I-I mean, I guess you could maybe come move in with us, but it's not that big an apartment for four people, and that would mean you have to move out from living with Puck, and I got the feeling you guys were pretty tight on all that... and what if you hate living with me all the time and get sick of me...?" He was rambling and he knew it. It just took him by complete surprise and he was protesting uncertainly, despite Blaine tell him not to. "Another idea?"

[rockstarwarbler]

"Hey, hey..." Blaine said softly, hoping to cut Kurt off before he got too worked up about this. "Nothing is certain. I'm not pushing anything here, sweetheart. At all, okay? You have to understand that. I am not pressuring you into anything, and I never will. Anything I might come to you about, you can say no and I promise, cross my heart, I won't get upset or offended. Now the sex thing isn't even a factor in this, okay? We're not ready for that yet. Our priority is helping you get through this and feeling better. When the time comes that we want to talk more about sex, will. This isn't about sex or whether we have done it or not. This is about the fact you're are one of the biggest parts of my life now. Our relationship means the world to us, and I know we still have a lot of hurdles to get over and baggage to deal with, but I want to keep helping you and I think living together might just be... well, nice. Don't you? Just think about it for a moment, but you don't need to make any decisions here, but let me finish explaining first."

He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Kurt's lips before he continued. "This is what I had in mind. I know you love living with Quinn and Mercedes and I would never want to get in the way of that. I love living with Puck, too. We've been room mates for ages and we help each other out with a lot of stuff, just like you guys do. And I know you knew a way different back in school than I have come to know now, but he wants to help you out too. So, I was thinking maybe we could all move in together. We could pool the rent we all pay and get a bigger place, maybe a beach house, and share all the bills. We could share making meals, all that sort of stuff. But ultimately, my idea was that we could all live together, and in turn, that means you and mean could live together without really changing up the BFF roomie dynamic we all have. It would also mean all four of us are around on the regular to help you out when you get out of hospital."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt had been a very private person for a long time. He worked sharing a place with Mercedes and Quinn because they knew him inside and out, even if he kept walls up around himself even with them. They were still family and he could cope in that little comfort zone with them. But at the same time, thinking back to his therapy sessions, was it constantly sticking to his comfort zone that had made it so easy for him to relapse? Something his doctor had managed to flag to him in one of their recent therapy sessions at the clinic was that Blaine coming into his life was like changing a stuck record for him. Sure, it had freaked him out and set his mind into overdrive, which led to a relapse, but now that Blaine was involved in his recovery and treatment plans, Kurt had actually recovered quicker than any of his other relapses. He had responded to his therapy better too, and the doctor had suggested it was Blaine as a buffer for him that was helping him.

"That's just... a lot of people in one house. It doesn't sound very... private or anything. I'm just sort of used to my privacy. I've never shared a room with anyone before. Shared a bed..." he added, looking at Blaine anxiously. "Not permanently. It sounds like a lot to put on you. I mean, what if it gets too much? You can't get away from it... from me. You'll be living there. We'll have to share everything. If I have bad days, you'll just be stuck. I-I don't know if I can handle living with that many people. But I, um... I guess there's part of me that wants you to still be there to help me if they discharge me from the clinic. What if we live together and hate each other? What if we live together, and then it comes time to have sex, and we hate that, then we're stuck living together? Why would Puck even want to live with someone as basically freakishly nutty as I am? I have seriously flipped out in the past about people leaving the toilet seat up when they visit. I'm a nutcase."

[rockstarwarbler]

That just earned an emphatic shake of Blaine's head. "You're not a nutcase. You're not crazy. You're nothing like that. You've been sick, and we're working on that. You might still fight that for a long time to come, and it still doesn't make you crazy. Now just pause for a moment, sweetheart. You're starting to stumble right back into those traps of self-loathing because you're feeling threatened by what I've suggested. It was just a thought, okay? You don't have to do it. We can work something else out. At the end of the day, my apartment isn't that far away from yours. If this is too much and you're really not ready for that amount of changes, we'll just set it aside and forget about it. I'm not going to do anything that impedes on your recovery. You're my priority here. Yes, I would love to be able to be more easily accessible for you to help you when you get discharged, but if staying with Quinn and Mercedes is what you want, I'll just come visit a lot. Nothing is ever set in stone, Kurt," he reassured him with a smile.

"But for the record? I would never, ever feel stuck with you, Kurt. It's the opposite. I want an excuse to spend more time with you, and I want to take care of you. This was just the first option I came up with. I knew there was a high probability you wouldn't be comfortable with it, but I thought it was worth talking to you about it anyway. Maybe it's even a future possibility, huh? For when you're feeling better and back on your feet? We can take a look at it again then. We can just rock the epic sleepovers now. You can come stay at my place and I can stay at yours. You'll never make me feel stuck though. You make me happy, I love being with you, that's not stuck," he insisted.

[justbeingaqueen]

As Blaine continued to explain, Kurt could see clearly that Blaine really wasn't forcing him into anything. It wasn't a suggestion that he had to do by any means, and in fact, Blaine hadn't even been banking on it. All it was was Blaine trying to find ways to help Kurt and take care of him, and that just happened to be one of the options. It wasn't that Kurt wasn't used to being taken care of. Of course he was. He had amazing parents, an amazing brother, and amazing close friends who were all willing to help him and look after him unconditionally through all his bad times. But this was different. This was the first person Kurt had ever been in love with, and he had no obligation to be here or stay here through the tough times. He wanted to be, though, and Kurt's eyes teared up as he looked over Blaine's face right before a small smile began to play on the corners of his lips.

"I don't know how I got so lucky to find you. I know I nearly screwed it all up trying to push you away and I made everything to hard, but you stayed strong through it. You put up with all my shit. You don't push me for anything, and you just... just... you still love me, even when I've been at my worse. You've cleaned me up when I've been sick, you've sat close when I'm stuck in the bathroom, you've... you've fed me, for god's sake. I didn't think people like you existed in reality. Not where you can meet them and fall in love with them. And they love you back without wanting to change you. Everyone always had ulterior motives, but you don't. And I-I do... I want to spend more time with you and there's a big part of me that doesn't to go back to how life was before I got sick again. Maybe a change will help me break the vicious cycle? Change just sort of really freaks me out."