Kurt had never given his heart to anyone in the past to risk having it broken... until now. And if this was what it felt like, he never wanted to do that again. It felt like a physical and crushing pain in his chest, and he slumped against the wall, sinking down onto the floor beside the row of sinks where he drew his knees up and covered his face in his hands when tears came before he had a chance to stop them. It was the right thing to do. It had to be the right thing to do. Blaine was too good a person to need to deal with all his shit, and if hurting him to get him to stop wanting Kurt was the only way to do it, it had to be done.
But Kurt felt sick and devastated as he watched the door swing shut in Blaine's wake. It felt like a piece of him was being torn away, and it was only at that moment that he realised how deeply he had come to feel about Blaine. It had been a subtle transition the more and more time he spent with Blaine, the more and he had come to adore him, and adore those fluttery warm feelings in his stomach whenever they spent time together. He actually thought Blaine was an amazing person, and too good to be true, and most days he hadn't understood how he got so lucky to have a guy like that who actually wanted to spend time with him. He spent a lot of moments just watching Blaine and listening to him quietly. But Blaine didn't know the real Kurt, at least, so Kurt thought, and this was some sort of skewed way of saving him.
That didn't mean it didn't hurt, because it did. It was one of the worst pain Kurt had ever experienced, and now it was setting in, he didn't know how to make it stop. Eating. Eating would help it stop. Ice cream and chocolate. He could go out there and eat all that pizza, and surely it would help ease this horrible pain a little? It wasn't like he had to stay thin. It didn't matter if he got fat anymore. He was always going to be alone anyway. Even now, barely a couple of minutes after Blaine was gone, Kurt missed him, and a crushed sob echoed off the tiled walls of the bathroom. He wanted the pain to stop, and eating was the only way he knew it would.
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But Kurt felt sick and devastated as he watched the door swing shut in Blaine's wake. It felt like a piece of him was being torn away, and it was only at that moment that he realised how deeply he had come to feel about Blaine. It had been a subtle transition the more and more time he spent with Blaine, the more and he had come to adore him, and adore those fluttery warm feelings in his stomach whenever they spent time together. He actually thought Blaine was an amazing person, and too good to be true, and most days he hadn't understood how he got so lucky to have a guy like that who actually wanted to spend time with him. He spent a lot of moments just watching Blaine and listening to him quietly. But Blaine didn't know the real Kurt, at least, so Kurt thought, and this was some sort of skewed way of saving him.
That didn't mean it didn't hurt, because it did. It was one of the worst pain Kurt had ever experienced, and now it was setting in, he didn't know how to make it stop. Eating. Eating would help it stop. Ice cream and chocolate. He could go out there and eat all that pizza, and surely it would help ease this horrible pain a little? It wasn't like he had to stay thin. It didn't matter if he got fat anymore. He was always going to be alone anyway. Even now, barely a couple of minutes after Blaine was gone, Kurt missed him, and a crushed sob echoed off the tiled walls of the bathroom. He wanted the pain to stop, and eating was the only way he knew it would.