Rachel frowned a little at this. It had been a long time since the dumpster thing was brought up and she became abruptly aware of the enormity of it all of a sudden. Puck actually did used to throw Blaine's current boyfriend into dumpsters. She couldn't explain it, but that hurt deep inside on Kurt's behalf. She had the rationality now to pause and see how awful that must have made Kurt feel at the time. This was the person Blaine had come to have feelings for, and the history was just terrible. It was no wonder that Kurt had inevitably come to have such low self-esteem and self-worth that a sickness fuelling it was plaguing his very existence. "It... it all seems to insignificant and stupid now. Back then, it was like everything was revolving around it. But now it's just... how could we have been so awful to each other? Kurt in that store that day where I said those horrible things to him, I had no idea anything was wrong with him. He looked like he had everything together, and I was actually jealous of him for that."

She wrung the napkin between her fingers and sighed. "You have to admit, though, there was always a possibility that Blaine might have chosen Kurt over me. If push came to shove and Kurt did ask him to choose, how can you be so sure Blaine wouldn't have just gone along with that for Kurt's sake? I always knew that when Blaine fell in love, he would fall so damn hard and passionately. I just never expected it to be Kurt who was the one. I never expected to find out that the one person I thought always had it together has been falling apart from the inside out for along time. How is Blaine going to cope with any of that? I just... I don't know how anything between them is. It's not like anyone has kept me informed and I was too scared to ask. The last thing I heard was that you were going out to dinner with them and Quinn. It sort of hurt I didn't get an invite too, but for obvious reasons, I wasn't welcome. Blaine hasn't told me anything about things with Kurt."